One gets better and one is ended.... again.

This restructuring thing seems to be going very well. I'm learning how to be in a relationship again where everything seems to be normal. yeah normal. A man with a good sense of self who, I hafta tell ya is just wonderful to be with. We spend time together and never seem to tire of being together. Although I still like coming home to my own bed as much as I enjoy the occasional sleep over. It's all good. And it will be a year since our first date at the end of November. On that first date I managed to down four Tanqeray 10 martinis, and I've not accomplished that feat since then. FOUR! Martinis?:!?! WHO does that?


This just in - Rebel has broken up with the Loser Boyfriend. Again. I think it might stick this time. She has been cheating on him with an old friend. She says nothing has happened yet, but I think she's been looking for a reason to dump him. I'm lighting candles at church hoping the break up sticks this time. For good.


Rebel Junior has been busy at university. She seems to be enjoying her classes and working and reading all the time. I would appreciate her picking up after herself and for some reason, nothing sticks on that front. I am frustrated still and don't have a clue what to do with her.


The Beau and I spend a fair bit of time together and have been talking of living together. oy! We're only ten houses apart, but there are some nights when it would be nice to just head to bed together instead of one of us going home . But, his cats, my dog, my daughter at home, his hobby that takes a fair bit of space, plus deciding what to keep from two house one of which had a mom who is gone forever. NOT an easy one. How ever status quo doesn't seem to work for us either. No doubt, things will come together as they are supposed to. Life is short. We're enjoying each other and seem to be smitten.

On Exes and Passed on Partners...

I have been enjoying a lovely three day weekend. Ever since I started working a compressed work week - that is 9 loooooong days of 8 hours and 50 minutes equals every second Friday off - I have had a lot less feelings of stress and a whole lot more relaxation. I don't know why I didn't do this years ago.

The Beau and I are getting set for our vacation together. Not all fun though. I have one week at a union convention. My first. I'll see how I fit in with the activist crowd. It will be a civics lesson as well as a learning opportunity.

Week two entails the holiday part staying with my uncle and aunt and also visiting friends. The uncle is my mom's youngest brother. He's ten years ago, maybe 11 or 12 years younger than my mom. He's been married twice. My current aunt, his second wife is the same age as XSU. I have four cousins. Two by aunt #1 and two by aunt #2. My youngest cousin is in between my two girls in age. My oldest cousin is ten years younger than me. And I believe that my uncle is probably only a few years older than The Beau. Did I ever mention that The Beau is ten years older than me? The point here - with this cross of generations, it should be a good visit. The uncle can be a bit of a red neck but Beau can take care of himself and will be just fine.

The Beau had a barbecue of current and former neighbours this evening. One of the formers felt that Beau shouldn`t be seeing anyone. She seemed to be missing the passed on wife and felt some sort of loyalty towards her. Okay. I`m not trying to replace anyone or be something I am not. Apparently she had a lot to say on the subject until both Beau and one of the other neighbours who happens to know me, told her off a few months ago last time she was in town. All went well this evening. I met her this evening and she behaved, as did I. (seriously why wouldn`t I)

I occaisionally get weird vibes when Beau talks about his wife, but I don`t get too worried about it. She`s gone and can`t come back. I am me and he is good with that. And there is no competition or worry except about learning who we each other and how we are together.

Frankly with XSU around he`s probably got more to worry about than I do. Though I would NEVER entertain that notion. And if I ever do, any one has permission to smack me up the side of the head. Beau is pretty patient with my odd rant on whatever latest idiocy XSU has going on.

So this is the getting organized week. Big job - ensuring RJ doesn`t wreck my house while I am gone. I decided to ship the dog out to ensure he got attention as I just don`t trust that girl to look after him as well as I do.

13 on Thursday

13 damn Things I'm Thinking About


1. Damn car. Can't afford a new one, old one is costing a fortune. What to do what to do?

2. Damn kid. Refuses to help. I know I know... same old story. And she's living at home while going off to university. I think I'll ship her to her dad's for a few months and let him deal with her.

3. Damn other kid. Only calls me when she needs my car or my money. Both being regular occurrences

4. Damn XSU. Off on his two month vacation without any sense of responsibility. ON the other hand, said offspring regularly calling him for money too. That is a good thing.

5. Need a dog sitter for two weeks. Don't trust Offspring the Younger while I am away. Two possibilities, now that number one choice has a life and no time for my dog.

6. Damn thighs.... so much for the treadmill these past few months. Not getting enough usage. Got the treadmill and the man at the same time, and treadmill just not seeing any action. Too many tight capris and skirts are sending me a pret-tee strong message. See the eyes rolling?

7. Damn new washing machine. High Efficiency or not, it isn't working properly and the troubleshooting guide isn't helping me much at all. It stops working after the wash cycle when I do towels and bulky stuff. Must call Sears....

8. Damn carpet in my bedroom needs steam cleaning. It's summer. No steam coming out of this room for a while. Might have to settle for the Resolve instead.

9. Damn you Rogers cable. You cost a fortune. And I don't even get the Food Network. Never mind high def and a bazillion channels. Is there a Relationship channel yet. I wonder what would be on the channel. Break up movies, chick flicks. What else

10. Damn gel nails. I got rid of them. I`m having a tough time growing real nails. Never could. But the UV lights that cure the gels are causing melanomas on women, and frankly, I can live without that.

11. Damn! I really hate garbage day. I can handle pretty much anything about being a single woman again, but garbage day and mice in the house for different reasons are not things I enjoy!

12. Damn I should stop whinging and start enjoying instead.

13. Damn I have great friends who are wonderful to spend time with. I just need to do more of that.

Summer news blast - restructuring continues

Here we are half into July already. It’s been some great hot weather and I’ve been doing my best to enjoy it. Here we go with a few short items for your reading and perhaps commenting pleasure.

Rebel continues to enjoy her life with the Loser BF. She has had her ups and downs with that man and with her jobs. School is coming along sort of, if she could just figure out what it is she really wants to do. I don’t think she really knows herself yet. But Loser BF doesn’t really help in that regard.

Rebel Junior graduated from high school will be starting university in the Fall. While she wanted to go to Nova Scotia, the money isn’t there. She’ll do just fine at one of the two local universities. And she is becoming excited about starting, so that’s a good thing. She was not a very nice daughter during her graduation and prom activities. I wanted pictures and she tore off without letting me get any. I wasn’t impressed. Both Rebel and I let her know that her behaviour was selfish. Alas, 20 years down the road when she doesn’t have any memories of her grad – will be when she kicks her self and realizes what a brat she was. I expect to be around to hear her say it too!

XSU has left for the summer. He’s done east to the ancestral home. Why I have no idea. Both his parents died this spring – about 6-8 weeks apart I believe. I was able to attend the MIL’s funeral service. XSU turned up in blue jeans. Seriously. Thank goodness he’s not my problem any longer. Given that both parents are gone I am not sure why he needed to spend the entire summer away from home. There really isn’t much reason for him to be there except I guess he doesn’t have any friends here anyway so he may as well leave.

I am on the hook with both girls – Rebel needing a car once in a while as the LBF doesn’t own one – nothing changed there.

RJ works in an industrial part of town in a new shopping complex and I don’t like her taking the bus at night – too isolated, so evenings one of us would pick her up. Seems it’s my job for the summer.

XSU is apparently buying out two of his siblings and taking over the parental home. So it appears he’s spending more money on that house than the one he has here. BOTH need a ton of work, but again, I step away and just roll my eyes at his judgement. The good thing with him being gone is I am the one helping RJ with her university course selection and stuff – much better as XSU would send her off on some weird tangents while mine will only be half weird.

And speaking of weird! I’ve had dreams about XSU – while sleeping over at The Beau’s house. Not really sleeping over as with RJ at home I am not comfortable being out when she is at home. I have been known to wake up at 5:30 AM at my house and walk over to The Beau’s and crawl into bed with him for some….. time together shall see say. Yes I have a key. I fell asleep this past Sunday morning and had a bazillion weird short dreams which starred XSU. Don’t remember much about them except that when I woke up I was a tad freaked out. Hmmmm wonder what this means?

And speaking of The Beau, he’ll be joining me out west this August as I get through a week of union convention business then we move on to meet “the uncles” and a few friends. Should be a good time.

I’ve been missing Ukrainian camp again this year. I really should have just booked the “Shangri-La” cabin that was the cook’s domain and no children allowed party room and invited folks out to join me. Next summer. Most definitely on the plan. Funny how years of spending time in the same way is missed when it doesn’t happen.

There’s talk of living together. Though not yet. Not ready to go there at the moment. Spending time together while me sleeping in my own house, works for me for now.

13 things on Thursday: Catching up!

1. Had a terrific time in Halifax accepting my outstanding award as the outstanding alumnae. Pictures on FB. Podcast to be uploaded to the university's web site. Eventually. Rebel came with me.
2. Sister in law in Halifax and I had a great time. Had some great chats while staying with her in Halifax. For now she likes me better than her brother. Bwa ha ha.
3. Started a new job where I have no staff, no budget responsibilities. I LOVE it! I can just do my job.
4. Contrary to that, the young one who replaced me is already burning out. You have a lot to do don't you? And they only pay you at THAT level?
5. My blog at work is number 3. My tweets are number 1. Sorry - intranet only.
6. XSU caught Rebel Junior planning yet another do at my place while I was away last weekend. A day late. She cleaned up everything this time, however, she left crucial details undone. GOTCHA!
7 .I have a scrapbooking weekend this week end. Gone for three days. With my little dog too!
8.Had a perogy making party two week ends ago. The young librarians wanted to come over to make perogies - then eat. We had about 9 dozen potato cheese, 2 dozen meat filled ( Russian) and two dozen cherry filled. All I had left were about 4 meat filled and about 8 cherry filled. And some dessert.
9. Rebel has had three accidents in the Taurus station wagon, XSU's former vehicle. He now has an old man car - a silver Fusion. The hybrid Fusion was going to be my car if the Mustang didn't work out. I am not going to buy a Fusion now, unless it comes in some sort of sporty model.
10. I can't decide if I want to teach next term or not. Not worth the money, I hate marking, but love being on the teaching stage. Maybe I should look to community theatre instead?
11. I am trying to be a morning person. It's still not working.
12 I am trying to go bed earlier. That's not working either
13. The divorced older man shuttle driver at work is hitting on me. Why do I attract these types?

Go ahead - make my day - or someone else's

Something is going on with FireFox and google on this laptop of mine. Note to self - don't let the little Rebel Junior use this thing any time again. Every time I try to get into Blogger I get bounced to other websites and I get google analytics showing up in the URL bar.
She who is technically challenged on a good day is *totally* frustrated. Can you hear the whine -
"I JUST want to post an entry on my blog. WHAT is the problem?!?!? " whine over. Where's the wine! So I switched to IE and we'll see how well this goes.

I am not really scurrying but I am loping along putting away laundry, sweeping up and running a few errands before leaving for the mini vacay to the Finger Lakes region of New York for the big race weekend.

The girls are still convinced there is a man involved. I have not dissuaded them. chuckle chuckle. ( do people still chuckle instead of LOLing?)

I have someone staying with the dog. A young woman who works for me. She brought her boyfriend over last night. OY! She's got her masters degree (of course in my line a requirement) and is 25 years old, maybe 26. Her parents are younger than me. Her bf - 21 years old. OMG!!! He's younger than Rebel, by a year!!! He grew up locally and I wonder if my daughter knows him or any of his friends. Interesting dynamics with the two of them. Young woman was so totally bossy, and almost answering questions when I directed to him. They've been dating a year now, and she seems smitten, but watching from where I sit, I'd love to talk to his parents. She's quite a spitfire and very independent. I've had to temper her a little at work, but she's doing a great job and will continue to get better. As for the BF... who knows. another chuckle. OKAY people - I need an icon for a chuckle.

Ran into a guy at work yesterday who later sent me a facebook message : "good to see you yesterday Marie, I've never seen you so excited and happy looking. Enjoy your NASCAR holiday!" Now I see this guy at meetings or in the halls once in awhile, we have those usualy work type conversations and that's about it. I've supported some of his teams but not a great deal of stuff. But what a nice way to end my day yesterday.

Send someone a nice note today - it will make their day.

It's a twofer!

I've missed the Sunday snippets and a few other posts lately. It's been a grad school reunion week this week.

Had a friend visiting over the weekend. I've known him for thirty years. We went to grad school together. Had a great visit with him as we joined another friend who lives out in the country. Just before him, another friend from grad school was visiting from New Zealand. A couple of other girls arrived from Toronto and we had a wonderful dinner - what a great time. We always manage to pick up where we left off the last time we got together. These girls have been there for me. I would pitch in for any of them any time!

Rebel keeps coming around looking for something. She called me on the weekend asking me to give her some money for gas. I told her to come and get it, as I was busy and wasn't going to deliver. She claims she didn't even have enough money to get herself to my place. I told her too bad so sad, I was busy and wasn't going to run on demand. That felt good.

I really hope she is keeping track of this stuff. That boyfriend of hers doesn't seem to be much support. But I know this already. Can't do much about it.

I need to buy a small step ladder. I can't reach the light in the ceiling going down to my basement. I tried standing on a chair but could barely reach the lamp shade to remove it. ARGH. I am sure a little ladder will come in handy. But I'd rather spend money on something else. Anything else.

I have someone staying at the house looking after the dog while I am gone to the races. It's one of my young employees at work. Guess I am going to really have to get to work to tidy things up. Hate to think she'd yak about state of my affairs. LOL.. That Marie, great at her job, wonderful with people, but oy! clutter, dust bunnies and bad food in the fridge. ( with all due respect to the bad food, it does make it to the green bin on garbage day!)

Thought I'd get this done before midnight. But apparently not. So this is a twofer. Here's Wordless Wednesday right here... under this line.

Sunday Snippetts

Happy 4th of July to my legions of American readers! Hope you're all having a wonderful carefree holiday.
I love visiting your country. Nothing like Target, Nordstrom's, and really great hot dogs at the ball park to allow a girl to enjoy "foreign culture!"

I have a cold and feel miserable today. I am sure I'll get over it. The coughing and stuffed nose are more than I can put up with on a hot hot day, So I am watching this bizarre Christopher Walking Brendan Fraser movie about a family that lived in some kind of bunker because they thought there was some nuclear blast. Brendan Fraser comes out of the bunker at age 35 and hits the modern world ... very back to the future but not as good.

Had a good day with Rebel Junior and two of her friends at the beach yesterday. Went up to the church camp and have to admit that knowing my camp cooking days are done made me more than a little wistful. The memories of all the kids and parents hanging out playing capture the flag, having the crazy Olympics and great bonfires brought the point home - the kids are growing up. We gave them some great memories and I am happy about that. It doesn't look like anyone is taking over camp from us. No one stepped up so no camp this year. sigh... I really loved camp. There is talk of getting together for a reunion weekend - will see if we can arrange something this summer.

Rebel has moved most of her stuff to the Loser BF's place - some where on the other side of the river. We dropped her off yesterday on the way to the lake but she wouldn't let me take her to the door. Seriously. I don't know where she lives. Not sure how long this will last.

The Loser BF came by on Friday evening to pick up some stuff from the garage. I asked him when the car would leave my garage - not his mustang but another car he bought and then did nothing about it. I reminded him that he told me a month ago it would be gone in a week, and it's still taking up space. I told him he had a few more days before I had it towed to his father's house. HA! That set him off. I think he muttered something about being psycho....

XSU is off to visit his family for 6 weeks and leaving his house unattended. I am hoping that RJ has a key and plans to party there when she's claiming she 's sleeping over at a friends. Apparently RJ is being flown to meet him there when she's done summer school, but as usual, I have no details. I will have to get on his case tomorrow to find out what his plans are. I am not sure he actually has plans.

I am off to go get a Neo Citran and more orange juice and ColdFX.
Whew it's hot outside.

Living through a lot but yet not enough.

I bought a desk for the basement but it's not down there yet because I need to have some furniture come out of there. A couch and a futon frame. Rebel's BF kept telling me he'd do it, and then never did. What else is new - so I have to find some guys to give me a hand.

I was all set to take the girls out for dinner this evening. RJ deigned to come by to pick some stuff up from the house and I haven't done much grocery shopping because Rebel doesn't eat much of what I cook, so I buy in small quantities.

So as we were getting ready to go out for dinner I am standing beside the desk that should be in the basement but it's in my living room and Rebel pushed me out of the way - no sorry, no excuse me, nothing - and goes on about how I need to stay out of her way if we're going to leave the house. And why was the desk in the front room and on she went. As she talked and was ruder and ruder I decided WTF? and I am going to pay for dinner out?!

And I asked the question - "so why would I pay for dinner out after listening to this?" And on and on she went and ya know.. and you do know because y'all keep telling me, the girl has no respect or regard for me at all. None. And RJ started in sort of but even she isn't keen on this. I told RJ I'd take her back to her dad's place and we'd go for dinner another time. I don't have to put up with the stuff being thrown at me. It's not right. I am so tired of the disrespect and regard for MY feelings that I just decided FORGET it! RJ too made a crack about why she is staying at her dad's - the tension between the one who wants to be an adult but acts like a spoiled 14 year old and the mother is too wearing on her. I can't say I blame her frankly, even if she has princess tendencies.

I came back from driving RJ to the XSU's house and Rebel had the gall to ask me to use my car again. I told her that I get anxious when she takes my car on a week night and isn't back until late. I wanted her to be home before midnight.

Her response - "I 'm 22 years old, I am an adult and I shouldn't have to be coming home at your convenience as if I had a curfew so take an ativan and leave me alone."

Again, I asked her - very politely I think - no yelling on my part for a change - to look at it from my perspective - it's my car which I am allowing her to use; I don't sleep well during the week when she is out in my car and I believe there needs to be some regard for what I want. Her response was she deserved respect and until I gave her respect-forget it. She does not get it. at all.

I kept the car keys and told her to have her BF come and pick her up to move her stuff to his place. That should be entertaining - apparently he's downgraded his ride from the '96 Mustang to a Canadian Tire special bicycle so unless it's a bike built for two with a big basket on the handles bars, I won't be seeing a lot of action that way.

So of course the place has the tranquility of a war zone for now but I can't keep backing down. Her rude nasty tone is shocking to me as her mother. I have not ever played the "who was there for you at the hospital every freaking day you were there" card, because I know she knows. Guilt isn't going to do it. Not going to go there even if her BF continues that line.

Nope, she will now become dependent on her BF - for whatever good that does. She will leave and take her yappy dog with her and perhaps I will finally get some peace. I will also change the locks on the door when she does go because I can't have her coming in here when I am not around. That just won't be on.

Yes, she did get through a horrible time, but damn it so did I! I lived through it right with her and then had to deal with all the crap with her idiot BF AND the XSU at the same time. And really, that's none of her business and she won't get that until she is older. Much older. Until she does, I guess we're not going to be very mother daughter-ish.

sigh..... it's come to this. Not happy - but as her mother, I am not handing out the respect card until it's earned. This 22 year old , has lived through a lot. But apparently it's still not enough for her to understand what's really important and get over her selfishness.

Sighes and leaving the nest

Rebel is once again moving in with the BF of hers on the other side of the river. What it comes down to with her is she doesn't want to be in my house - or her father's house, she just wants to be independent and not have to follow anyone's rules but her own.

I get that, having done it myself albeit before I was 22 and going to grad school in another city. I too recall wanting to move into an apartment with a girlfriend only to have BOTH my mother and grandma on my case asking me about bills, furniture, school and forcing me to cave to their demands. I can still hear the two of them - one on either side of me grilling me on my lack of thought, on how was I going to study. It was a conversation in Ukrainian that went something like this:

"Ma - you know what she wants to do? She wants to leave home and go live in an apartment!"
and grandma responds -
"An apartment? Why? what are you doing you don't want your mother to know about eh?"
"Nothing Baba - I want to get out on my own that's all."
"Go ahead ma, ask her how she's going to pay rent and utilities?"
"Nu Marie, how are you going to pay the rent? you go to university. You have to study."
"I work already two nights a week I'll just work on weekends too."
"Weekends? You go to church on Sunday, and you have to study. You're going to work now? OY!"
"That's right ma, she wants her independence. How much rent are you going to pay? You want independence, I'll give you independence. I'll charge you rent and you can have your independence, how's that."
" Good idea Marushka. Charge your own daughter rent and she can live here and be independent."
"It's not the same mom, and you know it. Just because you lived at home until you got married doesn't mean I am going to do that too."
"OF COURSE your mother lived at home. Where else do nice girls live? Downtown? in apartments? What's wrong with you child, don't you know nice girls don't live in apartments."

On and on they went til they wore me down. Okay, I am not that ancient that nice girls didn't live in apartments. But even then I had a union job part time, a decent room mate and it would have been walking distance to university downtown. But no go. And right she was - it would have been difficult but then again who knows how things would have worked. I just couldn't disobey my mother at that point. I NEVER spoke to my mother the way my daughters speak to me. NOT ever. Two year later though, I was off to the east coast for more university and had my independence.

But my Rebel girl isn't there yet. Her BF, the useless, loser, lying, jackass, has no job and does work for cash while he waits for his so-called "union" job which I am quite sure is more bull cacky than a bull produces in a month. I do not see how he can possibly afford Rebel AND her dog.

I listened in on a conversation Rebel had with her Dad, ( eavesdropping is not a crime when your children are involved so don't judge me!) and I have to admit, it appears he is finally growing balls when it comes to dealing with her and BF. He finally told her again he wants her to live at his place while he's gone to visit his parents. He knows if she moves in the BF will follow, but I said to him, what do you care as long as he is not there when you get back, what are you going to do about that. At least he might cut the lawn while you're gone!

He also point blank asked her what her BF is doing for a job to support her and I don't think she really did have a good answer. In talking with someone who Rebel trusts, she told me that really - deep down Rebel knows her BF is a useless,loser, lying, jackass and she will only take so much more before she is done.

She says because Rebel has lived a pretty cushy life and has had whatever she wants, heart transplant notwithstanding, she will NOT like living with BF who has no cash to spare, who has no understanding for anything intellectual has no ambition and she will tire of it. The cracks are there. So I will need to back off. And hope that in the process, he doesn't do her too much damage. I believe she worries about being alone, about not finding anyone and he reinforces this. Not much I can do except tell her she can return home anytime,( with certain guidelines that must be respected).

In the meantime, I have to go and pick up the mess she left behind in my rec room and her bedroom. sigh.... not the way I would like to move on and have her leave the nest, but leave the nest she has..... again.

I love you - leave home!

I have been continuing the de-cluttering mission. I found the sweetest little note from RJ:

"Dear mommy, Welcome home. I really missed you. I was glad you phoned every day. I 've been counting down the days til you came home. Now stay home. Don't go anywhere for a long time. I love you lots. "
Love and hugs like this xoxoxox
RJ."

Fast forward ten years and now I get email:
"HEY! when are you going out of town again??!! It's time for a party. Just kidding. I'll have a party at dad's.
Your daughter.
PS: you'd better hide your cheapo Boone's sangria, my weirdo friends think it's tasty! (-; (-D "

sigh.........