Moving on .

I've been blogging for a few years now. Sometimes sporadically sometimes daily, but almost regularly. I have finally separated from XSU and starting to live a new life on my own. The original blog helped me get through the painful process of the end of the marriage, along with some bumpy roads dealing with a critically ill child in the midst of the end of marriage mess. Now this blog will see me through the new paths and adventures that life has to offer. Restructuring my life. My way. My experiences, ventings, musings on that whole big and not so big deal.

February 19, 2012

Hello Good bye to the red cars.

Good Bye Taurus.............. Hello Hyundai.... singing a Sonata.......
The first car I ever bought on my own A brand new car with only 27 kilometres on it. I negotiated, researched, shopped, and decided ON. MY. OWN. I will be inhaling new car smell for the next year. Oh, and please take your shoes and boots off before getting in would you?

I would have loved the Genesis Coupe, but really, after two test drives, the turbo charged speediness of it and lightweight ride wasn't comfortable for me. And the sedan is way too rich for my blood.
Too bad. And the Mustang. Still a gas guzzler. I'll rent one once in a while and get that out of my system. I now don't have to get into a car and panic in case I forgot my phone. This car isn't going to need oil every time I fuel up, and it probably won't cost me $50 a week to run either. Ahhhh relief.

Bye bye Taurus. 1999 was a good year. 247,000 kilometres later.... you're definitely ready for the wreaking ball.

December 06, 2011

Tuesday Tales: In which Kate and Karl have a fight... of sorts.

"Hon," reasoned Kate, as she made herself a cup of her favourite mojito tea "you've been invited by your own daughter to your granddaughter's confirmation, you have to go!"

Karl, at his most stubborn replied, "No, I don't! I don't go to church, I don't believe in it, I do not have to go."
"This isn't about you Karl," retorted an exasperated Kate, "it's about your granddaughter taking part in something that is important to her and her mother."

Kate believed she and Karl were having their first fight. A full year had gone by since they had started seeing each other and here they were arguing about religion of all things. Kate was well aware of Karl's views on organized religion and for the most part wasn't too concerned. As Karl had put it to her, "we won't be raising children together so our relationship isn't a show stopper." And for the most part, Kate was okay with that. She was a church goer even if in the past few years it wasn't as obvious. "But this," thought Kate, "is nonsense. This man is being stupidly stubborn."

It was just at this point as Kate was standing quietly in the corner of Karl's kitchen figuring out where to go in this discussion, when Karl asked, " are we having a fight? Because if we are, it's not going to end well, and that scares me."

Karl was very worried. He wanted no part of churches and the nonsense that went on in them. He also knew that Kate was a practicing Catholic who would seek an annulment of her marriage after her civil divorce was finalized. It was important to her. His daughter also knew that he wanted no part of her family's "churchy stuff" as he called it. He loved his daughter, he adored his granddaughter and he dearly loved Kate. What was a non believer to do? He had his principles and his own beliefs or lack of them really that needed to be upheld.

With a sigh, Kate raised her voice a tad, something she'd never done with Karl before, "Yes Karl we ARE having a fight, because you're taking your non believing to a religious fervour, as ironic as that might sound. Really, a little girl just wants her grandpa at her confirmation. Sit at the back of the church, don't participate and smile when the priest says a few words over her head and be done with it! WHAT is the big effing deal?" At the end of that tirade Kate's voice was nearly at fever pitch.

"This is why I don't like religion," Karl pushed back, " it makes people crazy and cranky and they start raising their voices."

Kate took a deep breath, got her voice and her control and gently wrapped her arms around Karl's neck," Hon, I love you, but your fear of church, and it is a fear, not a non belief, is irrational. So, if you ever want to see me naked in your bed again, think through why you won't make your 1o year old grand daughter happy by showing up at her event at church, okay."

"That's extortion!" exclaimed Karl.
"Indeed!" replied Kate "and I have the evil grin to go with it too."

"I'll think about it", a defeated Karl answered, " I won't be thrilled with going, but if it makes you and the two other important girls in my life happy, then I'll think about it."

"She would cut me off too," thought Karl, " without even thinking about it, so I'm not about to give up the best sex I've ever had in my entire life on principle.

Kate also breathed out a very quiet sigh of relief. She was thought, "oh thanks be to the gods - it would kill me to have to give up the best sex of my life because of this man's paranoia about churches."

Kate was sure she'd have to have a chat some other day with Karl about what she believed was his fear of churches and faith rather than his belief in non belief.

I think we just made up shall we take this upstairs and get it done right``
Karl smile, took Kate by the hand and led her up to their favourite room.

November 29, 2011

Tuesday Tales: In Which Kate spends time alone

Kate was home after work and as usual she called Karl to have a chat. As the phone rang she knew it would end up going to his voice mail, and only then did she remember that he was going out for dinner with friends from his work days. They gathered every couple of months or so to catch up on each other's lives, and tonight was the night.

Kate sighed. She hadn't seen Karl for a couple of days. Sunday night was family dinner night with her girls and their current significant others, and it was her family only for now. Monday evening was a cooking night for a potluck at work on Tuesday, and here she was Tuesday night, eager to see her love, and he was out at dinner without her.

While she carried on as if she was longing for Karl, the fact of the matter was that Kate was not pining at all. She was more than happy to know that Karl had his own friends and a healthy social life that wasn't tied to hers. The reality was that they had managed to meet more of his friends than hers at this stage, almost a year into their relationship. This had been one of Kate's stipulations on her "must have" list as she was making her way through the end of her marriage and spent time thinking about the kind of man she hoped to meet 'someday.'

It continued to surprise her that Karl was her near ideal match- he had friends, he had his own interests, he could make conversation and he enjoyed meeting new people. He understood the code of the cocktail party, and liked it! And as a lover, she couldn't ask for a more caring, generous man. In spite of some of his health issues, which were well monitored and taken care of, Karl knew what to do, and how to do it. He sent Kate into ecstasy.

Kate sighed, picked up her book and tea and went up to her room to read. She knew Karl wouldn't be late and that he'd phone her at bedtime for a good night chat. "It doesn't get better than this," thought Kate, "it just doesn't get better." She settled into her chair, quite content, for a cozy evening on her own.

November 25, 2011

Bring on the Holidays

Ahhh a week away from home all alone on the road. I've been to union meetings and have enjoyed the time on my own. RJ has been *home alone* and I have been texting her daily to ensure she is alive and well. She doesn't like being alone, but the little dog is there with her and The Beau is up the street even if she doesn't acknowledge his presence much.

I've been sending The Beau emails and he's been responding, but I do miss our daily chats. So this evening, instead of heading straight home, I'll be spending the night at his place and heading home on Saturday instead. A little snuggle time as well as decompression rather than heading straight home to whatever mess awaits me. RJ still isn't good enough at keeping the place tidied and I'm stymied as to how to deal with it.

The holiday preparation time is upon me and I've got a note for December 1 to pick up some new tree lights and tinsel for the tree instead of waiting until Dec2 20th when things are terribly picked over and when we usually trim the tree. I am not sure what we'll be doing for the holidays this year. There had been talking of heading home west, but the $2000 price tag for three of us to fly kills me. So we'll stay put. XSU is heading east and I am not sure if the girls want to go with him or not. I truly don't mind if they do. The Beau has told me we can spend Christmas with his family, but the girls are not keen. I don't mind that either.

We Beau and I - have a bunch of social engagements. Wow. We've already had two parties to go to, and have about three or four more. This part of being a couple has been more than fun. I'm enjoying it. Interestingly, I've been hanging out a lot with the neighbours, something I haven't had much chance to do in the past given XSU's non social temperament. More restructuring experiences. All good.

This social thing has taken some getting used to surprisingly. Being part of a real couple is still kinda new, and of course social engagements are part of the deal. I like it, and in fact I am reveling in it.

I have to plan my own big open house party, but I've decided it will wait until the February blues time, because, right now, I am just too busy!