Moving on .

I've been blogging for a few years now. Sometimes sporadically sometimes daily, but almost regularly. I have finally separated from XSU and starting to live a new life on my own. The original blog helped me get through the painful process of the end of the marriage, along with some bumpy roads dealing with a critically ill child in the midst of the end of marriage mess. Now this blog will see me through the new paths and adventures that life has to offer. Restructuring my life. My way. My experiences, ventings, musings on that whole big and not so big deal.

November 29, 2011

Tuesday Tales: In Which Kate spends time alone

Kate was home after work and as usual she called Karl to have a chat. As the phone rang she knew it would end up going to his voice mail, and only then did she remember that he was going out for dinner with friends from his work days. They gathered every couple of months or so to catch up on each other's lives, and tonight was the night.

Kate sighed. She hadn't seen Karl for a couple of days. Sunday night was family dinner night with her girls and their current significant others, and it was her family only for now. Monday evening was a cooking night for a potluck at work on Tuesday, and here she was Tuesday night, eager to see her love, and he was out at dinner without her.

While she carried on as if she was longing for Karl, the fact of the matter was that Kate was not pining at all. She was more than happy to know that Karl had his own friends and a healthy social life that wasn't tied to hers. The reality was that they had managed to meet more of his friends than hers at this stage, almost a year into their relationship. This had been one of Kate's stipulations on her "must have" list as she was making her way through the end of her marriage and spent time thinking about the kind of man she hoped to meet 'someday.'

It continued to surprise her that Karl was her near ideal match- he had friends, he had his own interests, he could make conversation and he enjoyed meeting new people. He understood the code of the cocktail party, and liked it! And as a lover, she couldn't ask for a more caring, generous man. In spite of some of his health issues, which were well monitored and taken care of, Karl knew what to do, and how to do it. He sent Kate into ecstasy.

Kate sighed, picked up her book and tea and went up to her room to read. She knew Karl wouldn't be late and that he'd phone her at bedtime for a good night chat. "It doesn't get better than this," thought Kate, "it just doesn't get better." She settled into her chair, quite content, for a cozy evening on her own.

November 25, 2011

Bring on the Holidays

Ahhh a week away from home all alone on the road. I've been to union meetings and have enjoyed the time on my own. RJ has been *home alone* and I have been texting her daily to ensure she is alive and well. She doesn't like being alone, but the little dog is there with her and The Beau is up the street even if she doesn't acknowledge his presence much.

I've been sending The Beau emails and he's been responding, but I do miss our daily chats. So this evening, instead of heading straight home, I'll be spending the night at his place and heading home on Saturday instead. A little snuggle time as well as decompression rather than heading straight home to whatever mess awaits me. RJ still isn't good enough at keeping the place tidied and I'm stymied as to how to deal with it.

The holiday preparation time is upon me and I've got a note for December 1 to pick up some new tree lights and tinsel for the tree instead of waiting until Dec2 20th when things are terribly picked over and when we usually trim the tree. I am not sure what we'll be doing for the holidays this year. There had been talking of heading home west, but the $2000 price tag for three of us to fly kills me. So we'll stay put. XSU is heading east and I am not sure if the girls want to go with him or not. I truly don't mind if they do. The Beau has told me we can spend Christmas with his family, but the girls are not keen. I don't mind that either.

We Beau and I - have a bunch of social engagements. Wow. We've already had two parties to go to, and have about three or four more. This part of being a couple has been more than fun. I'm enjoying it. Interestingly, I've been hanging out a lot with the neighbours, something I haven't had much chance to do in the past given XSU's non social temperament. More restructuring experiences. All good.

This social thing has taken some getting used to surprisingly. Being part of a real couple is still kinda new, and of course social engagements are part of the deal. I like it, and in fact I am reveling in it.

I have to plan my own big open house party, but I've decided it will wait until the February blues time, because, right now, I am just too busy!

November 17, 2011

13 on Thursday

13 Things in restructuring, thinking, or doing

1. Being invited to more parties since leaving the XSU behind!

2. Being with someone new means going to twice as many parties this year.

3. Having to carve out time for myself and not being together 24/7, but this is difficult

4. Understanding that living together would really cut expenses almost in half: newspapers, cable, internet, snow ploughing services, lawn cutting services, divided instead of multiplied by 2

5.Understanding that living together means I have to share my space. Not sure yet.

6. Understanding that waking up with someone every morning who wants to be there and make the coffee is not to be scoffed at.

7. Even though the offspring want you to have someone in your life, they are still not completely 100% sure it is something they like.

8. Making travel plans with someone is fun.

9.I still prefer shopping by myself - for anything - groceries, clothes, shoes whatever. I will go myself.

10. I have better taste in movies – seriously Night of the Living Dead – of any iteration is not great cinema.

11. He thinks he has better taste in cars. He is certainly more knowledgeable, but yellow cars still suck in my opinion.

12. He shares the remote control. I get the Food Network almost any time I want.

13.Being loved, adored and cherished is a gift.

November 15, 2011

Tuesday Tales: In which Kate is without Karl & the girlfriends plan a grilling.

Kate was spending the weekend alone. Karl was off with a group of his friends on a road trip to a Steelers game in Cinncinati. While she was enjoying her time alone and finally catching up with several friends Kate realized that life was changing for her. There used to be a time when she was home alone a lot, or conversely frantically keeping busy with board meetings, dinners out or visiting friends. Since she and Karl had become an item, Kate enjoyed having a man around and she was missing him now that he was out of town. This was the first time in months that they were not speaking to each other on a daily basis. Karl's refusal to get even cheap cell phone meant that there was radio silence between them. A cute kind of quirky thing of Karl's meant no contact.

During her marriage Kate and her husband rarely did things together and she was used to being a solo act, but lying in bed on Saturday evening, Kate thought, "I miss him. I really miss him. This is new." Kate realized that she was learning how to be part of a couple again, and now that she was paired up again, it meant something when Karl wasn't there to talk with and share moments.

"Three nights without contact, and I am going a little squirrely," thought Kate as she sat at her dining room table sorting through photographs. "I love that I have time to get through these pictures, but frankly, I'd rather be with Karl having a sip of scotch and watching a movie."

Kate's good friend Vania was over for dinner on Sunday evening and complained," I came over for dinner expecting to finally meet your Karl and you tell me he's at some football game in Cincinnati? Well, when am I going to meet this man?" To say she was disappointed would not be inaccurate. And indeed Kate had to find a way to introduce Karl to her dearest women friends, many of whom were busy single women. She and Vania sat over dinner plotting ways to introduce Karl to "the girls" "Just line him up at the front of the living room, and we'll grill him! " laughed Vania. She was only half kidding.

Vania and Kate's friend Lily had been there from the get-go when her Ex, who shall remain without a name, started the ball on the news that he wanted out of their marriage. Vania was glad Kate finally accepted the separation. Her Ex was not a happy man, nor was he Kate's type at all. She and Lily could never understand what it was that attracted Kate to this rude, condescending man. She would grill Karl all right, because as she and Lily had discussed endlessly, Kate had dealt with enough and deserved better. It seemed that Karl might be "the one" but not officially until the grilling session had taken place.

He'd better be ready for them.

November 06, 2011

One gets better and one is ended.... again.

This restructuring thing seems to be going very well. I'm learning how to be in a relationship again where everything seems to be normal. yeah normal. A man with a good sense of self who, I hafta tell ya is just wonderful to be with. We spend time together and never seem to tire of being together. Although I still like coming home to my own bed as much as I enjoy the occasional sleep over. It's all good. And it will be a year since our first date at the end of November. On that first date I managed to down four Tanqeray 10 martinis, and I've not accomplished that feat since then. FOUR! Martinis?:!?! WHO does that?

This just in - Rebel has broken up with the Loser Boyfriend. Again. I think it might stick this time. She has been cheating on him with an old friend. She says nothing has happened yet, but I think she's been looking for a reason to dump him. I'm lighting candles at church hoping the break up sticks this time. For good.

Rebel Junior has been busy at university. She seems to be enjoying her classes and working and reading all the time. I would appreciate her picking up after herself and for some reason, nothing sticks on that front. I am frustrated still and don't have a clue what to do with her.

The Beau and I spend a fair bit of time together and have been talking of living together. oy! We're only ten houses apart, but there are some nights when it would be nice to just head to bed together instead of one of us going home . But, his cats, my dog, my daughter at home, his hobby that takes a fair bit of space, plus deciding what to keep from two house one of which had a mom who is gone forever. NOT an easy one. How ever status quo doesn't seem to work for us either. No doubt, things will come together as they are supposed to. Life is short. We're enjoying each other and seem to be smitten.

November 01, 2011

Tuesday Tales: InWhich Kate & Karl go to a hotel..... again.

Kate was off on business once again. This time however, her meetings were in town and she was offered a hotel room since the rest of the sales force was coming in from out of town. Back in the days of being a wife and mother Kate would have turned down the hotel and headed home every evening. Her children were young and liked to have mom around, and her husband wasn’t very organized and didn’t do a great job feeding and managing their home and family.

Things were different now though. Lara was married off and Mariella was in university and the father of her children had his own home. . Just the way Kate liked it. The best part of her relationship with Karl was the he enjoyed coming with her when she traveled on business. He would go off and do his own bit of sightseeing and museum hunting and beer testing during the day and they`d meet in the evening, have dinner together and then watch tv in bed. Or not watch tv in bed.

`Karl, I’m getting another hotel! This time right here in town. Are you going to join me?” asked Kate that evening when Karl came over for dinner.

“Try and stop me darling. It seems we have our best dates at hotels, “ mused Karl.

The two of them put their heads together and as they thought aloud about their hotel dates, and summer cottage visits there had to have been at least one a month almost from the time they started dating.

“Nine great getaways” exclaimed Karl. “Three at cottages or with friends that allowed for an impressive amount of privacy I might add.”

“There is something to be said for the getaway when you’re getting to know someone,” thought Kate as she dished out the beef bourguignon into her special stew and pasta bowls. “It’s not like living together, nor is it like the one-off sleep over. The hotel get away gives you that little look into how someone just is. It can be heaven or hell on wheels. A real eye opener. I am so fortunate” sighed Kate, “that with Karl the hotel dates keep getting better and better. From that perspective, it makes me think that we could probably have a life together.”

And with that thought Kate sat down at the table with Karl and they started to plan their tenth hotel getaway.