Moving on .

I've been blogging for a few years now. Sometimes sporadically sometimes daily, but almost regularly. I have finally separated from XSU and starting to live a new life on my own. The original blog helped me get through the painful process of the end of the marriage, along with some bumpy roads dealing with a critically ill child in the midst of the end of marriage mess. Now this blog will see me through the new paths and adventures that life has to offer. Restructuring my life. My way. My experiences, ventings, musings on that whole big and not so big deal.

May 31, 2010

SMoke and be gone!

I am getting ready to leave for my big conference which is in Edmonton this year. I've decided to leave my car in the driveway but take the keys with me. This will drive Rebel into a spin. Her 22 yr old non adult behavior the past few days has made me decide that she is NOT driving my vehicle. Besides, she has no gas money. She also has a BF who for some reason, calls himself her "hubby" but takes none of the responsibility associated with that term. I for one, always thought it meant "chauffeur" for starters.

Rebel Junior and the dog will make their way to XSU's place. He said he'd take the dog and the kid. Both the kid and the dog will eat properly if there.

Rebel is pissed off at me, because I told her BF - again- that I did NOT want him sleeping at my house. What is it with 31 yr old men with no shame, no understanding that if he wants me to like him, never mind respect him, which is so far from happening it's just not possible, that he doesn't get that what the Rebel says to him doesn't count for squat?! He needs to pay attention to me.

I have also told him he is no longer allowed to smoke in my garage, or anywhere near my house for that matter. I told him if he thinks I am bitch, he'd better take a close look at his girlfriend, who is me, now and in another 10 years. So, move it along and be gone! What is it with this guy?

May 28, 2010

Sex, Lies, and Please, there better not be videotapes.

The idiot boyfriend is not leaving town. Apparently he has a "union" job doing cleaning of government offices. A maintenance deal. Well, first of all, almost all the cleaning and maintenance for the government buildings even the high end top security buildings all contract out their cleaning and maintenance. The people who do these jobs are not unionized. I know. I am a shop steward.

Can you say bull feathers?

I give him 3-4 months at THIS job. In the three years I've known this man he's never lasted more than that at any of his jobs. Why can I see this but Rebel can't?!

It's the sex. At her age - it's always the sex. I remember when I was her age it was about sex. And the most ironic bit is when she does finally dump him and has sex with someone else, she'll realize that sex with this guy was really less than mediocre. And he's most definitely not as good as she thinks he is, because he's her first. And he smokes a lot of pot. I am sure of this. Smoking pot makes you impotent and not much of a player with the mattress games. Really. I read that some where on the inter net, so it must be true. Yes, this is her mother talking. it's reality. Although he does make me want to hurl even as I rationalize this in my head and blog it.

I must watch myself around this man because as I get crankier, Rebel notices and defends him even more. So I am going to go stealth and stalk him until I can for once, get him alone somewhere and have the latest in a series of chats with him - and without the interrupting Rebel in the room. It will be better that way. And then if he does tell her, I will simply lie and tell her I have no idea what she's talking about. It will be his word against mine. And given his penchant for lies, who would you believe, even if I am "the psycho mother."

May 24, 2010

It's hot outside. Like seriously summer hot. But the new furnace kicked in and the old air conditioner seem to be working in tandem. I say a quiet thank you. But it's still a bit of a problem as the 2nd story is never as cool as the main floor and the basement is freezing. I have shut the registers on the main floor and hope to divert the air through the vents up to the second floor. I am not sure that the furnace fan is running as it should. This high efficiency thing might be so efficient it just quietly blows the air in and up without a lot of noise but the air coming through the vents is about as strong as a 90 year old blowing out birthday candles.

The ceiling fan is running. in the stair well to the second floor. I can never remember which direction it should be turning - clock or counter clockwise. Being the savvy researcher I am, you'd think I'd be able to do the search and figure this one out. I'm not there yet.

I am ensconced in the new recliner with a blanket on me in the basement watching General Hospital and surfing the web. I have already put the chicken into the fridge to marinate, made a fruit salad and done three loads of laundry. That's all the domesticity I can manage. Now I do need to get back upstairs and continue the de cluttering. I bought myself a recliner for my bedroom and I must absolutely get the crap out of my room so that the recliner looks nice up there. I can't have moving guys saying stuff like " lady? are you for real? you want us to put the chair where?"

Rebel's BF cleaned my house yesterday by vacuuming and getting the basement floor cleaned. I said thanks. I mean why not. He did a couple of other things around the house but only after he asked me. This has been the thing that annoyed me - he does stuff and does not ask. That really bugs me. It reminds me too much of XSU's behavior. I told Rebel this and made it clear that in MY house it would be done MY way. She of course doesn't get my point and probably won't until she actually has her own place.

Rebel's BF claimed he would clean my windows today. He brought his stuff and left it in the garage and sure enough today - he' never turned up. No surprise. Same ole behaviour . Something always comes up. Good thing I don't have any expectations of this man.

And I was told he has applied for a job here in town. Can you see me hitting my head on my screen? WHY won't he leave? Why? Why can't he just hop into his little 1996 Mustang and drive off into the sunset and disappear for a while?

It's a plot of some sorts I am quite sure of this. For some reason I must have annoyed the gods who send boyfriends to daughters and I need to find something to appease them. What would that be? If you know please do tell me so I can make my moves.

May 23, 2010

Sunday Snippets

I am not a Lost fan. Never watched a single episode so could care less. I guess I will watch Celebrity Apprentice tonight or find a movie.

Same with Grey's Anatomy. I've never watched a single episode. There sure was a lot of OMGs on Facebook this week after that was all done and said.

But I did enjoy the Castle season finale. That tells you more about my tv habits.

The count down has started again for Rebel's BF leaving town. I really should have gone to church today - It is Pentecost after all, and lighted more than a few candles, said a large number of ernest prayers to help this process along. I will keep praying.

Rebel , I don't think, will be keeping him company on the road now as she does start her new job this week. She's going to be coaching gymnastics at the gym where I am on the board of directors. All I did was ask if she'd be qualified and the coaches jumped on it. I`ve never used influence before.

I don't have a barbecue and I don't want to buy one for a baxillion dollars either. I just need a nice little appliance to cook a steak or two. Assuming I can figure out how to cook a steak.

I bought a couch and love seat for the basement rec room. It came un assembled. This will be fun. The lads who delivered told me that they were not paid to assemble. I guess this is what happens when you buy from those low budget save a fortune kind of places. Apparently they are not paid to take the old couch up the stairs and out to my garage either. I couldn't persuade these delivery lads with an extra $20 each to take my couch up either. What has happened to good old fashioned under the table help?

It's hot. The air isn't turned on yet. Need to kick in the new furnace and see how it will work.

I am leaving town in a week and heading to Edmonton. My car will be parked at the airport. And Rebel Junior had better be parked at her father`s. I`ve suggested to XSU that he keep a close watch on RJ and if she claims to be sleeping over at a friend`s to do one of two or both things: 1. talk to a parent on a land line or say hello in person and, 2. stalk my house and ring the door bell to ensure that Rebel hasn`t been co-opted into participating in a party weekend for her sister. What are the odds he actually pays attention to my opinion this time

May 17, 2010

Ultimate Shopping.

Not only do I have a new hot water tank, I have a new furnace too. Talk about your impulse shopping. Now I am pretty sure I wasn't taken for a ride. The furnace I did have in my house was over 20 years old so it was not going to last much longer. When the guy came to give me an estimate on the tank he told me about a number of changes to the building code about furnaces and how mine was installed. I asked him to give me the code paragraphs and yep.... he was able to provide me with the info. I now have a high efficiency furnace and an energy star hot water tank. The bonus is because I've done the energy audit I'll be able to get some rebates which will pay for part of the furnace. So like, it was a deal, right?

Okay, and it had NOTHING to do with the sales guy who told me how delicious my perked coffee was, or how he too was newly separated. And he was French. That had NOTHING to do with it.

WHO goes out to get a water tank and lands a furnace instead?! That would be me. The Ultimate shopper.

Leave me at home if you're going out to buy a potato peeler. I'll send you home with an
entire restaurant or something just a little less extravagant.

May 14, 2010

In Hot Water - or not!

Rebel Junior and I arrived home last night and Rebel told me, "there's water in the basement." Looks like hot water tank is broken."
She didn't call me at work to tell me, she didn't bother trying to clean up any of the mess in the basement - her clothes lying all over the floor, nor did she think to ask her trusty BF to do something - anything!

But she's an adult she keeps telling me. Can you see me roll my eyes?

I was worried about all the crap on the floor of the basement. It's crap crap not good crap. So I wasn't overly freaked out.

I think I caught everything in good time. I called the Hunky Handyman who walked me through where the tap was to drain the tank, where to turn off the hot water and where to turn off the gas to the tank. No doubt there is a youttube video on this too.

I went and found Rebel's BF and asked him if he could tell me where the drain thingy was for the tank. He came down stairs and took over. After he went back up to Rebel and yelled at her for not telling him that there wasn't a "leak" there was a "puddle" or three... and why didn't she get him earlier to deal with things.
He went and found a shop vac and vacuumed up the water that I didn't manage to scoop up off the floor.

I got a fan going on the floor and hope my new floor isn't going to be damaged. And someone at work is going to loan me a de humidifier so I can draw out the rest of the moisture from the basement. I think I am good and won't need an insurance claim on this one.

So now the question - tankless or tank? I have to decide quickly. One company told me I could have a new tank installed IN A WEEK! They're going to try and speed things up but who knows. Service isn't really job one for any of these companies. But I will check out one or two other sources.

Pretty much immediately on hearing there was no hot water RJ went to her Father's for a shower and decided to stay there til the tank is replaced. Rebel took her over there and had a shower too.

Apparently XSU hadn't done his taxes yet. Very strange behavior since he always does them long before deadline date. He was very cranky Rebel said. She said he didn't seem to want them around. They were going to take the dog with them, and at that he put his foot down. Cranky cranky. LOL.

In the meantime, while I wait for the water tank people, I can get a few other things done around the house. Or maybe I'll just watch The View.

May 11, 2010

Go to your room!

I don't know WHY I am so pissed off, but I am. I came home today and my lawn was cut. I THOUGHT it was the girl I hired to cut my lawn but indeed it wasn't. It was the Rebel's BF. And right away, Rebel came out and told me to "please go and thank my BF - he cut your lawn. " And I was pissed off.

I told her - I've hired someone to cut my lawn for the season and I don't NEED your BF to be doing me any favours.

This is not the first time he's gone and done something that made me burn. While I was out of town, he took my car and "fixed" something that was wrong with it. So he says. Ford still charged me a cool 1K when I took it in for a service job.

Perhaps I am being irrational. Perhaps not. What seriously ticked me was Rebel who kept saying to me, 'You should thank my BF, you should thank him for doing this for you."

I DIDN'T ask him to cut my lawn. I do NOT want him cutting my lawn, or doing any thing else for me. If he wants to do something I want to be asked in advance. And then I will more than likely say no, because, frankly, it's far too late in this relationship to get into my good graces. I am not interested in his help.

I think my total negative reaction is partly because this young man in personality is a lot like the XSU. That need for recognition - that need to told how wonderful he is. And that underlying attitude that I - as a woman - couldn't possibly manage my little head with things like lawn mowers and cars. It's that attitude of superiority I got from XSU on occasion that sneaks out of the Rebel's BF. I don't like it, and I really don't want to put up with it - from anyone.

THEN I walked into the house and there were 6 bags of groceries on the kitchen floor. Apparently the girls aren't happy with the groceries I buy - so they managed to get their dad to buy stuff. They rarely add items to the running grocery list I keep on the fridge so I get what I get. I left the groceries on the floor and hoped at least one of the two dogs got into the bags. That made me feel a little better.

So I have locked myself in my room. No entrance allowed. My girls do this when they are annoyed, or just generally want to annoy me. I thought I'd try it. They most certainly are not impressed with me. Totally not impressed. And there 's the thing. I haven't had any dinner and I am starving. So isolating myself isn't working very well at the moment. Do I go back down stairs, miss Glee and find some food? Do I get in my car and find some kind of tolerable fast food - if there is such a thing and spend money I'd rather not spend?

Daughter drama. Idiot boy friends trying to get into my good graces in the worst possible way. And - a grumbling stomach. No worries, though the crankiness ends soon.

May 09, 2010

Sunday Snippets

Rebel Junior is back. She had a wonderful time away. Of COURSE she did. But she wasn't back 24 hours and my kitchen looked like a hurricane had struck. She's on a crepe kick. We've had crepes every day since she got back. Now if I could just get her to clean up after herself.

Rebel hasn't made plans for her dog while she drives west with her BF. She knows I am not going to look after the dog. Not sure what her plan is or if she even has one.

It was RJs birthday on Friday. We went out for dinner. At one point I said something about Rebel dating other guys. I told her how I wanted to set her up with the painter who did my house. He has the same name as XSU - Brent. Rebel said she nearly dated a guy in high school named Brent but couldn't do it. "It doesn't feel right to go out with someone who's name is the same as my dad's" XSU piped up and said "too bad my name isn't James." Her current BF is James. Rebel was not impressed. I nearly spewed my beer. I have to admit. It was a good line. The BF was not invited to our little family party.

Apparently XSU is planning on spending the entire summer at his parents place out east. I suggested that Rebel move in to house sit at his house. He ignored that one.

He's finally agreed that RJ needs a job. I can only hope she gets one. I've told both girls I am cutting back on stuff for them. (but not for me) I see an iphone in my future. In time for my birthday.

I am almost at the point where I think it would be better for me if both girls went to live with XSU. I could use the peace and he could use their disruption and lack of respect for a while. I would like to come home to a quiet house and no surprises for a change. I am sure he's cringing at the thought of either one or both girls living with him. For the amount I'd have to pay him a month, it would be so worth it.

May 03, 2010

Let me count the days.,.....

I have managed to snag myself a new job. I'll stay in the same organization, but I am moving away from my profession and will now be the Liaison between the union and management on change. Change. Yep. We are moving from about 5 different buildings into one brand new building - hopefully before I retire - and we need to change our culture and how we work. I will be union type person going to management. Completely different line of work. Could be most interesting. I hope. And best part - no staff to manage, no budget to manage no dealing with bureaucracy and process. My job will be to help figure out how to disrupt the process BWA HA HA !!! I haven't said anything on my Facebook page as yet. I have to tell my staff first. I have three new people starting in the next month. I am not even sure I'll be around to welcome them in the door!

I've signed on to go to my professional conference this year - it's all paid for and registered I am hoping I can still go even though it's not aligned with the new job. I would love to see my friends and actually get to attend events and stuff. Will see if they still let me go.

Rebel is counting down the days til her BF leaves town. He for some reason is staying here again. I very rudely asked him why he couldn't go stay at his own place. "Your daughter wants me here," was his response. "Yeah, well I don't and I pay the bills, so take your showers at your own apartment, smoke your cigarettes ten feet away from my house, and ask my permission before you drop your pants at the foot of her bed, OK?"
Rebel was not impressed because of course this excuse of a man RAN to her and ratted me out. Can you believe it? The man has NO SHAME! None at all. And of course Rebel and I end up having a stand off over this excuse of a man. The frustrating part is - he doesn't get why I have zero respect for him, and why he disgusts me. He doesn't see it AT ALL!!! I am counting down til he leaves too. It can't be soon enough.

Rebel Junior returns home Wednesday. With an extra suitcase that Air France is charging her 1oo euros to load up on the plane. They are tough with their one suitcase rule and it better weigh less than 43 kilos! Apparently she's managed to fill two suitcases right up. I am not asking XSU to share the load on this one because I owe him some money. This should even things out. I'll get the receipt from RJ though - just in case.

May 01, 2010

Is he really going to leave town?

It looks like Rebel's BF is skipping town. He's decided that the grass might be greener on the other side. Who am I to tell him that it will still need cutting. He's going. I first heard this from Rebel's BFF. She whispered it to me while Rebel was out of the room. This morning, she informed me that he's heading west. Can you see me doing a very happy dance? She's also known for some time and has thought things through.

He has a car in my garage. She is going to sell it and keep the money for herself.
He's got a lot of his belongings in my garage around the car. She is getting rid of all of it and keeping the money. She knows her rights on cohabiting and has informed him that's what his is hers and good luck if he thinks she'll hand over anything she deems is hers. Oh she is baaaaack with a vengeance. This lad of 31 years (seriously! 31!) doesn't stand a chance around her dance. It's a pleasure to watch.

If I read her right, and I am not sure I do, I sense relief in her. I think she couldn't find a way to extricate herself out of this relationship and now, he is doing it for her. Oh happy day!

Now, she is going to drive out west with him. It will be interesting to see if she stops in Winnipeg to visit the fam with him. I wonder what she'll do? I am not going to suggest or push anything that might make her think twice about coming home. As it is HIS father is buying her an airplane ticket to come home. She wants to go to school here next year so she's not planning on leaving any time soon. Will see how this whole trip goes. The lad has no clue about geography and doesn't realize it takes practically three days to get out of Ontario let alone make it all the way to cowboy country!

I will be quietly elated.

Slowleeee slowleee... we used to say. Not in this context but it works nonetheless.

RebelJunior comes home on Wednesday. She has her summer all planned out. J-O-B doesn't seem to be a part of her plans. I am not going to get into an email conversation with her on this front, but will advise her that this single mother cannot afford to pay her university without some contributions, nor will I afford her clothing style. She is on her own, unless her father chooses to pick up her expensive tab, and lately, he's been whining at Rebel about not having any cash on hand. WhatEV... not my problem.

I owed tax money this year. First time ever. Damn separation. On the positive side of this - better $200 extra dollars than a spousal unit who is disengaged and costing me more than a few dollars, eh?