Moving on .

I've been blogging for a few years now. Sometimes sporadically sometimes daily, but almost regularly. I have finally separated from XSU and starting to live a new life on my own. The original blog helped me get through the painful process of the end of the marriage, along with some bumpy roads dealing with a critically ill child in the midst of the end of marriage mess. Now this blog will see me through the new paths and adventures that life has to offer. Restructuring my life. My way. My experiences, ventings, musings on that whole big and not so big deal.

January 31, 2010

Sunday Snippets

10 days til RJ leaves for France.  I am almost ready to start the happy dance.  We need to buy her a ginormous suitcase except Air France says anything over 23 kilos will cost $100.  Yep and coming back?  The extra suitcase that we gave little Frenchy?  another $100 for two bags PLUS overweight charges.   We've told RJ - cut back on the shoes and books.  Laptop?  Carry on.  Gifts?  carry on.   The good thing?  No real winter so no need to take heavy duty clothes with her. 

The brakes on my car are seriously shot.  I am going to be a nervous wreck driving to Midas on Monday to get the car repaired.  Just as I was starting to get my head above the cash flow ... sigh

I am seriously tired of having Rebel in the house.  Her dog is making messes which causes my little dog to follow suit.  Between her puppy crapping on my nice new basement floor and marking anywhere he pleases and then my dog thinking he's alpha and doing same - my house is disgusting.    Then there is the mess of the dishes that they leave lying around expecting me to deal with it.  I need a clean up crew in here to deal with it.  I am tired of this and cannot have my friends over til this dog and his mistress and her BF are out of my house for good.  It's the bit of guilt I still feel over Rebel's health and her somewhat special but not quite status that is keeping me from going ballistic.  But that is nearly dissipated.

I've been asked to write an article for the national magazine of the Ukrainian Catholic Women's League.  The editor wants me to write the occaisional opinion piece - the first one - all about Easter.  600 words    nearly done.  I may share it here when it's been published. 

I am starting the count down to the annual Scrap & Spa Weekend. That will be the first weekend of March - 34 days away. 

January 29, 2010

He's not on my radar.

It's been a busy week.  Between board meetings, and this teaching gig, and now not sleeping well at night, I am not accomplishing much else in my off time.  I finally was tired last night and fell asleep at 9 PM.

This evening Rebel went out with her friends and expected me to come pick her up.  I told her that her adult self should not be depending on mommy for a ride.  I told her to call the boyfriend from where ever he went and he could do the honours.  She was not impressed.  WhatEV.

I took Rebel Junior to a final details meeting before her travel date to France.  XSU was there before us.  RJ said to me, "There's Dad"   I asked "Where?"  I couldn't see him in the crowd for the life of me.  He's so non descript to me now that I can't pick him out of a crowd.  He's all black and grey looking and I have no radar for him at all. 
I guess that's a good thing.

A friend's daughter from our church is going on this same exchange as RJ and at the end of the presentation she came over and we started to chat.  XSU interrupted - something he is very good at , and started asking me questions about the latest cheque he expected from me from the health plan and blah blah...  I couldn't believe it, but I should have.  I looked at him and told him I was busy chatting and he could take it up on email or wait.  He continued TO TALK!!!!  So I took Natalia's arm and looked at him and said "I am busy right now," and we walked away.   Natlaia looked at me and said " no sense of time or place eh?  Roman (her husband) noticed this about him a long time ago, but course we would never have said anything.   Ach!  you can do better!" 

And of course XSU couldn't wait til I was done.  As it was I had sent a cheque in an envelope  with RJ and she never bothered giving to him even though she sees him daily. 

January 24, 2010

Sunday Snippets

I received an email from one of the people - men people - I was meeting with in the US.  He's from the UK. Sent me a work email with his personal email asking me to reply.  I did so.  It was an nice little ego boosting email.  Not going to get too excited  - the guy lives across the freakin pond. But it was a nice thing to receive.    English men though... too short, too skinny, not very good teeth ( I should talk  - there's a story) and there's just something about them.... not really what I like.   Previous experience - sailors in port, Halifax, it's another story.  

Kind of like men with red hair.  Dated one once.  Turned me off red hair forever.  But now in my current middle age the red is kind of faded into grey or some other non descript colour, so maybe if I find one or meet one it won't be as distracting to me.  However the basic complexion is still there.  Again, something I just don't really like.  It's an anti attractor.  Not that I've actually met anyone but I'm saying that if that someone had red hair, he would not be at the top of the list. I  could stay home and watch Chuck reruns instead.

Rebel Junior is starting "the big shop" before she leaves for France.  "Gotta have.." new coat, new shoes, more jeans, and on and on and on.  she's going to France!  Mecca for clothes!  I sent XSU an email telling him that I personally would not be spending a fortune on pre trip necessities. I expect he'll cave.  We have to provide her with spending money while she is away too.  I checked with other parents and our family in France to get an idea.  We have a range now to work with.  RJ is not sure she is happy.  I told XSU I won't be going over the limit - if he wants to - that's his choice. 

Rebel's dog has been barfing in the house.  I told her she should take him to the vet.  She says she doesn't have any money.  i looked her BF in the eye and said - "you got her the dog, it's your responsiblity to look after him."  He walked out of the house without responding.   Guess who will end up with the vet bill?

 Dinner with the girls set me back $80 in Little Italy this Friday evening. Lovely dinner and free valet parking.  How nice was it to get into a warm car after shoving my face full of carpaccio, canneloni and tiramisu. Never mind the wine and the free sambuca shot delivered by the waiter-cousin of one of the girls.   There really is NOTHING like hearty Italian on a winter's evening. 

Need to get prepared for this week's class.  Man teaching ain't easy.  I don't get paid for prep time but if I am not prepped my class is going to be seriously under educated. So I am coming up with some kind of activities to fill time to reinforce the content I am trying to deliver.  So far I am told they are enjoying the class and learning a few things.  That's why they're paying me the really pathetic bucks.  But the money isn't why I decided to try this out.

January 21, 2010

Thursday Thirteen.

13 things I find hard to do.

1. Teaching. Getting material together for a two hour course and a one hour on line is gonna kill me before the end of the semester. (but I am enjoying it so far)

2. Managing people. Being fair and getting the work done don't always jive.

3. Being nice to an ex spouse. Getting things done on behalf of the girls means I sometimes have to be nice when I'd rather chew glass.

4. Being tough on the Rebel after everything she's been through. However she doesn't always make matters easy for herself.

5. Excel spreadsheets.

6. Fixing the glitches that come up on the laptop. I love my tech support guys at work and wish I could have one at home with me. I'd even feed him. But see #10.

7. Making time in the day to do everything I want.

8. Staying off FACEBOOK - See no. 7

9. Cake Mania 3 on my DS. I think it's because the images are too small and I can't see the cakes in order to make them. See no.7

10. Cooking beef. still. Though the Crock Pot is getting some good work outs lately and no is complaining.... much.

11. Going to the gym. See comment above on chewing glass.

12. Stopping while ice skating. I have to hit the boards if I am in an arena or just kind of glide til I stop. I really would like to stop like a hockey player with that powerful swoosh and a bit of ice flying through the air.

13. Getting the blog updated. Which is why I appreciate sharing the keys with a friend. THANK YOU!

January 20, 2010

Rust Buckets

I was running errands the other day and ran into the dry cleaner to drop off a couple of things. Salt on the bottom of my trousers - happens every time this year... those nasty white rings - but I digress..   After I left the dry cleaners I popped into my favourite consignment store next door.  I managed to find a good wool dress coat for a ridiculous price - Holt Renfrew - 100% wool, navy, original price would easily be between $200-$300.  I've been needing a new wool coat for years now since my old one has to be 15 years or orlder.  It was time.  
As I walked back to my car feeling pretty pleased with my find I noticed that the rust around the wheel  of my car was starting to get really bad.  You know how the paintj chips right off because it's just that old?  That's what I saw.  I also noticed that my Support Our Troops magnet banner was gone.  I figured it must have fallen off at the car wash where I had been earlier in the day. 
I walked around to the other side of the car and saw that the rust was really starting to take hold. It was so bad that a chunk of the metal fell olff into my hand.  "When did that start to happen," I wondered.  The rust just hadn't seemed so bad.  The servie rep  where I take my car for maintenance had told me there was rust underneath the car but the stuff falling off in my hands was pretty bad.  I stupidly broke off a couple more chunks and watched as red changed to rust in front of me. 
By this time I was pretty much done my little rust inspection and decided to roll.  I hit the open door thingy on the key fob and the door didn't open right away.  I hit the thing again and nothing.  WTF?
I then finally looked up into the car and saw a woman's purse open on the passenger seat.  "Hey!  That's not my purse and gee what's that crap in the back seat?!?!

That's. Not. My. Car. 
It's a red Taurus sedan all right.  Looks exactly like mine.  But. It's.Not.Mine.   It doesn't have the little DOHC thingy that mine has. And  it sure is a helluva lot rustier.  So, where's MY car?  Two cars over, hidden behind the damn yellow Hummer.   Seriously people, who buys a yellow Hummer? 

But now I remember the damage I've done to the twin Taurus and figure I'd better get outta Dodge before the *real* owner comes back and sees half the back fender lying rusted out on the ground.
I took a quick scan of the parking lot and stores and it sure didn't look like anyone was going to come chasing after me. 
So I peeled out of the parking lot and took off for home.

January 17, 2010

Sunday Snippets

It's Official!  
The Full Fledged REBEL is back - and with a vengeance.  It's a long story for another post.  I'll get back to it.  Suffice to say that Rebel is pretty pissed with me.  I haven't been "supportive" and a whole lot of other blah blah blah came out of her mouth today.   I believe that the only reason she is with the loser BF is because she doesn't WANT to live at home and he is her ticket - for now.    She is very angry and I think between the transplant and her parents separation she isn't handling things as well as she believes she is.  If I could figure out a way for her to get therapy I would make it happen immediately.   Her favourite line these days is "I am 21, an adult and don't have to tell you anything or pay any attention to what you say."  
This will turn into a rant if I don't let it go now.

The Loser BF has yet to pay me any rent money either.  I am supposed to be grateful that he cleaned the house for me - once.

On the other hand - I had a great trip to the US of A.  Very productive and my boss and I travel well together.  We got to know each other a little better and that is always a good thing. This was a 3 state, one district trip with touch downs or stops in Pennsylvania, DC, Maryland, and Virginia.  Okay... not great shakes but it sounds good.
I forgot to thank the XSU for taking my dog.   I will drop off an email.   I think that secretly, XSU likes the little dog, but won't admit it.

We thought RJ was leaving for France on the 2nd of February - she doesn't leave until the 10th.  I have her for an extra week and a bit.  sigh.....

I am *really* looking forward to an empty house - and getting things in order and having peace and quiet.  All I want is to come home to a house that is clean, quiet and everything as I left it.

January 12, 2010

Target practice

It's nearly 12:30 AM and I haven't even thought about going to bed and I surely should since I have to get on a plane in the morning and head down to the USA for a meeting for a few days. My flgiht doesn't leave until 11:30 AM but with this new security watch I've been told to be at the airport by 8:30 AM.  I haven't packed yet.    I can do this in the AM.  Call a cab and get out there.   I love working under pressure. 

 Rebel Junior is planning the high school grad trip - the one without parents and barely any real chaperones.  That's a story for another time.  XSU and I attended the parents' information session.   It appeared that he was waiting for me to show up.  He was hanging about in the hall way.   NO No..  I am not reading anything into it. It was odd behavior as far as odd behavior goes for the XSU. 

RJ was heading to his place for the week and out of the blue XSU suggested I send my little dog to his place as well.  Could have knocked me over with a feather.  What? Leave the dog with you?   The dog needs a break from Rebel and her overly energetic puppy.  She won't look after him properly.  Oh!  and you will?  Apparently, he will.  So my little Buttons is gone for the week as well.

I need to get to bed.  I have to get up early enough to pack.  Easy job this time.  Two days of business wear... the colour brown is the theme... with teal, with lime green and with pink.  two belts, three pairs of shoes an arsenal of cosmetics and my new straightner/flat iron  - I'll be good.   Throw in three books and the laptop and I should be *really*good.  Oh maybe the camera too though I won't actually be going anywhere worth taking pictures,  except maybe a Target store if I can find one.  

January 10, 2010

Sunday Snippets

I have decided I want an iPhone. I probably don't need one but I am tired of my children both having better stuff than me.  Childish eh?

I am travelling on business this week.  I have given RJ's house key to Rebel.

I don't want Rebel taking my car either.  She seems to believe that if I am not in it she is entitled to it. I've not been happy with this state of affairs so I told XSU to tell his young friend that I will loan him and his wife my car for the week I am away.    Rebel's BEF is still driving XSU's car.  XSU is avoiding whatever confrontation he needs to have with the daughter's BF.
Rebel figured that RJ would be at the house this week while I was away.  I told her not a good idea.  She is going to be at her dad's all week.

I decided not to buy any groceries this weekend either.  I have just enough to get through til mid week.  Rebel's BF can stock up on whatever they need, or they or at least she can go to her dad's place.

I am supposed to be teaching starting this week.  Looks like my students have a cancelled class first week in the semester, except for the online part of the course.  Imagine that.. I am teaching online!  Top it off the colleges' teachers across the province are taking a strike vote this week. My teaching career could be curtailed even before it gets underway.  It could be a looooong haul for this bunch. 

January 08, 2010

Vegas and Benefits

I have a friend at work.  Male friend.  He's a little ..... different?  Single never been married. He can't sleep - and ends up nodding off at work sometime.  I've known him from the day I started. Nice guy.  He's looking for someone to go to Las Vegas with him.  We some how got on the subject of travel - Las Vegas, and other places. He's got points and no one to go with.   He sorta asked me if I wanted to go - just friends he said.   

Yee haa... NOT so sure I am ready for that.  But then again what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas right?   And this girl needs a getaway! 

Rebel's boyfriend has not paid his rent yet.  He's now two months in arrears with me.   First time I mentioned the rent money - I heard   "I shovelled, I cleaned your whole house, I fixed your car" 
I retorted,  "thanks now where's the money?"

Rebel has reverted to some of her old school pre transplant atttitude. I've told her and RJ to go live with their  father.   Her father I don't believe wants Rebel there because she has the package deal going - and the dog.   I am at the point where I am thinking it's worth paying child support to get these offspring out of my life for some peace and quiet. And change the locks on the doors while I am at it. 

Las Vegas is looking really good. With or without any added benefits.

January 07, 2010

13 on Thursday

Christmas is over and New Year has begun because...
1. It's Epiphany   12th Night
2. Decorations come down
3. Lights not turned on across the neighbourhood

4. Christmas cookies eaten
5. The spirit seems to be dissipating
6. Work is gearing up again
7. Dried out trees line the front yards  waiting for the tree recyclers

8. Cards taken down and either recycled or added to the paper crafts box.

9. March break vacations being booked
10.Boxing week sales have ended
11.Cruise wear showing up in the stores
12. Easter chocolate bunnies have turned up at the Dollarama!

13.Santa Claus sighted on a beach in Florida wearing red velvet bermudas and very short trim beard carrying an ab- ductor

January 04, 2010

Middle-aged crazy get a tv show!

Middle-aged crazy   ( click the link to read the story.)

They now get their own TV Show. Can't wait except I don't get this channel in my cable package. Must go looking for it online so I can see what all the fun is about. Do ya think I should suggest it to XSU?  Let me know what you think if you get to watch it.

January 03, 2010

Sunday Snippets

The point of snippets for me is to keep it short - not quite a Tweet but not an entire essay either.  I will do my uptmost to keep the spirit of Snippets! 

I had a quiet start to the New Year.  Ended up visiting my friend the alcoholic wino.  The girl has a heart of gold but she needs to hit rock bottom.  Unfortunately her husband is enabling her.  For the tenth time I've told him about Al-Anon and what he has to do.  He cooks, she doesn't eat.  He buys her wine and cigarettes for her.  She's a diabetic.  Friend is also very crafty but hasn't done a craft of any kind in about five years.  She manages to stay sober to go to work, but at home she tops up right away.  Sad.    We had a couple of good hours together though.

RJ sent Rebel a text this morning.  XSU banged on her door at 7 AM today and started shouting at her to get ready for school, it was time to get going.  RJ had to show him the date on her ipod before he'd believe her that it was Sunday.  Too bad she was there.  If he'd been home alone he'd have driven all the way to work only to find a locked up building.  I chuckle.  Finally!  I am not the the only senile parent.  

RJ also said he fell asleep in his chair in front of the tv again.  Probably had a drink or two in his hand, though that is an assumption.  RJ said he looked like grampa!   

Rebel's BF has not paid his rent to me as yet.  I think he believes because he shovels the snow and cleans the house a bit, and supposedly fixed my car,  I am giving him a free pass.  NOT. 

It seems that XSU and I agree on one thing - we both want the puppy dog and the BF out of Rebel's life - and we're not sure which is more of a pain in the keester. The BF has been "borrowing" XSU's old car and was supposed to have done repairs.  XSU keeps trying to reach The BF to get his car back as he wants to lend it to the young man friend of his his - the one he parties with.  Said young man lost his job and company car.  The BF is avoiding.  I took much delight in passing along XSU's message.  "Rebel's dad wants to see you this weekend.  You're to go to his house."   Apparently I spoke "rudely" to him according to Rebel.    What EV.  While I do not wish to drive my daughter away, I am tired of this boy-man leeching again.   I continue to pray and keep my mouth shut - she'll see the light. 

New Year - no resolutions.  Just a few things I need to improve upon.  I won't resolve but take it a day at a time instead.  Like getting the health plan info over to XSU so I can get back the 20% of the rest of the money I have spent on Rebel's drugs.  At $1200 a month, with an annual deductible and then an 80% return to me - the rest does add up.  It is stupid to not get on that.

January 01, 2010

New Year

A new year. 
Take down the old calendar from the wall, put up the new one. Mark the important dates to come. Think of the possibilities and plans for the year. 

My friend in Denmark has invited me to come for her youngest daughter`s confirmation in May. Seriously. Denmark for a confirmation. That would be worth saving my pennies. 

Watching the Rose Bowl Parade again as I have almost every year since I can remember thinking how much I really want to go see the parade live.  And not just watching from any where but I want to be where the tv cameras are to see all the performances. If you go - then go big! Last year I looked at the tour packages for the parade - foot ball game included`and thought `I really need to get on this and go! I`d give away the tickets for the game and go shopping - but then again, maybe I`d go to a game just because it`s something to do.

I need to keep writing my murder mysteries. I have about 6 outlines and a bunch of research done, plus back stories and maybe a little discipline is called for and it`s time to get that ball going. 

No.... these are not resolutions but thoughts and things I have been contemplating. A new year, a new page to be turned. Time to move on and reach ahead to the possibilities rather than turning around at what was and reliving that over and over again.

Good health happiness  and possibilities to all.