Summer news blast - restructuring continues

Here we are half into July already. It’s been some great hot weather and I’ve been doing my best to enjoy it. Here we go with a few short items for your reading and perhaps commenting pleasure.

Rebel continues to enjoy her life with the Loser BF. She has had her ups and downs with that man and with her jobs. School is coming along sort of, if she could just figure out what it is she really wants to do. I don’t think she really knows herself yet. But Loser BF doesn’t really help in that regard.

Rebel Junior graduated from high school will be starting university in the Fall. While she wanted to go to Nova Scotia, the money isn’t there. She’ll do just fine at one of the two local universities. And she is becoming excited about starting, so that’s a good thing. She was not a very nice daughter during her graduation and prom activities. I wanted pictures and she tore off without letting me get any. I wasn’t impressed. Both Rebel and I let her know that her behaviour was selfish. Alas, 20 years down the road when she doesn’t have any memories of her grad – will be when she kicks her self and realizes what a brat she was. I expect to be around to hear her say it too!

XSU has left for the summer. He’s done east to the ancestral home. Why I have no idea. Both his parents died this spring – about 6-8 weeks apart I believe. I was able to attend the MIL’s funeral service. XSU turned up in blue jeans. Seriously. Thank goodness he’s not my problem any longer. Given that both parents are gone I am not sure why he needed to spend the entire summer away from home. There really isn’t much reason for him to be there except I guess he doesn’t have any friends here anyway so he may as well leave.

I am on the hook with both girls – Rebel needing a car once in a while as the LBF doesn’t own one – nothing changed there.

RJ works in an industrial part of town in a new shopping complex and I don’t like her taking the bus at night – too isolated, so evenings one of us would pick her up. Seems it’s my job for the summer.

XSU is apparently buying out two of his siblings and taking over the parental home. So it appears he’s spending more money on that house than the one he has here. BOTH need a ton of work, but again, I step away and just roll my eyes at his judgement. The good thing with him being gone is I am the one helping RJ with her university course selection and stuff – much better as XSU would send her off on some weird tangents while mine will only be half weird.

And speaking of weird! I’ve had dreams about XSU – while sleeping over at The Beau’s house. Not really sleeping over as with RJ at home I am not comfortable being out when she is at home. I have been known to wake up at 5:30 AM at my house and walk over to The Beau’s and crawl into bed with him for some….. time together shall see say. Yes I have a key. I fell asleep this past Sunday morning and had a bazillion weird short dreams which starred XSU. Don’t remember much about them except that when I woke up I was a tad freaked out. Hmmmm wonder what this means?

And speaking of The Beau, he’ll be joining me out west this August as I get through a week of union convention business then we move on to meet “the uncles” and a few friends. Should be a good time.

I’ve been missing Ukrainian camp again this year. I really should have just booked the “Shangri-La” cabin that was the cook’s domain and no children allowed party room and invited folks out to join me. Next summer. Most definitely on the plan. Funny how years of spending time in the same way is missed when it doesn’t happen.

There’s talk of living together. Though not yet. Not ready to go there at the moment. Spending time together while me sleeping in my own house, works for me for now.

Go to your room!

I don't know WHY I am so pissed off, but I am. I came home today and my lawn was cut. I THOUGHT it was the girl I hired to cut my lawn but indeed it wasn't. It was the Rebel's BF. And right away, Rebel came out and told me to "please go and thank my BF - he cut your lawn. " And I was pissed off.

I told her - I've hired someone to cut my lawn for the season and I don't NEED your BF to be doing me any favours.

This is not the first time he's gone and done something that made me burn. While I was out of town, he took my car and "fixed" something that was wrong with it. So he says. Ford still charged me a cool 1K when I took it in for a service job.

Perhaps I am being irrational. Perhaps not. What seriously ticked me was Rebel who kept saying to me, 'You should thank my BF, you should thank him for doing this for you."

I DIDN'T ask him to cut my lawn. I do NOT want him cutting my lawn, or doing any thing else for me. If he wants to do something I want to be asked in advance. And then I will more than likely say no, because, frankly, it's far too late in this relationship to get into my good graces. I am not interested in his help.

I think my total negative reaction is partly because this young man in personality is a lot like the XSU. That need for recognition - that need to told how wonderful he is. And that underlying attitude that I - as a woman - couldn't possibly manage my little head with things like lawn mowers and cars. It's that attitude of superiority I got from XSU on occasion that sneaks out of the Rebel's BF. I don't like it, and I really don't want to put up with it - from anyone.

THEN I walked into the house and there were 6 bags of groceries on the kitchen floor. Apparently the girls aren't happy with the groceries I buy - so they managed to get their dad to buy stuff. They rarely add items to the running grocery list I keep on the fridge so I get what I get. I left the groceries on the floor and hoped at least one of the two dogs got into the bags. That made me feel a little better.

So I have locked myself in my room. No entrance allowed. My girls do this when they are annoyed, or just generally want to annoy me. I thought I'd try it. They most certainly are not impressed with me. Totally not impressed. And there 's the thing. I haven't had any dinner and I am starving. So isolating myself isn't working very well at the moment. Do I go back down stairs, miss Glee and find some food? Do I get in my car and find some kind of tolerable fast food - if there is such a thing and spend money I'd rather not spend?

Daughter drama. Idiot boy friends trying to get into my good graces in the worst possible way. And - a grumbling stomach. No worries, though the crankiness ends soon.

Is he really going to leave town?

It looks like Rebel's BF is skipping town. He's decided that the grass might be greener on the other side. Who am I to tell him that it will still need cutting. He's going. I first heard this from Rebel's BFF. She whispered it to me while Rebel was out of the room. This morning, she informed me that he's heading west. Can you see me doing a very happy dance? She's also known for some time and has thought things through.

He has a car in my garage. She is going to sell it and keep the money for herself.
He's got a lot of his belongings in my garage around the car. She is getting rid of all of it and keeping the money. She knows her rights on cohabiting and has informed him that's what his is hers and good luck if he thinks she'll hand over anything she deems is hers. Oh she is baaaaack with a vengeance. This lad of 31 years (seriously! 31!) doesn't stand a chance around her dance. It's a pleasure to watch.

If I read her right, and I am not sure I do, I sense relief in her. I think she couldn't find a way to extricate herself out of this relationship and now, he is doing it for her. Oh happy day!

Now, she is going to drive out west with him. It will be interesting to see if she stops in Winnipeg to visit the fam with him. I wonder what she'll do? I am not going to suggest or push anything that might make her think twice about coming home. As it is HIS father is buying her an airplane ticket to come home. She wants to go to school here next year so she's not planning on leaving any time soon. Will see how this whole trip goes. The lad has no clue about geography and doesn't realize it takes practically three days to get out of Ontario let alone make it all the way to cowboy country!

I will be quietly elated.

Slowleeee slowleee... we used to say. Not in this context but it works nonetheless.

RebelJunior comes home on Wednesday. She has her summer all planned out. J-O-B doesn't seem to be a part of her plans. I am not going to get into an email conversation with her on this front, but will advise her that this single mother cannot afford to pay her university without some contributions, nor will I afford her clothing style. She is on her own, unless her father chooses to pick up her expensive tab, and lately, he's been whining at Rebel about not having any cash on hand. WhatEV... not my problem.

I owed tax money this year. First time ever. Damn separation. On the positive side of this - better $200 extra dollars than a spousal unit who is disengaged and costing me more than a few dollars, eh?

Sarcastic Laptops

"Yeah, you get up at 6am on Saturday cause then I'll just be getting up at noon, then we can like, totally skype each other and make perogies together! omg! or not.." Nothing like a snotty response from a 16 year old on my Skype idea. Can you hear the sarcasm pouring out of her laptop? This is why sending her to France was a good idea.

Rebel is busy visiting her BF. She misses him. That's to be expected. For now she's going to his place on the weekend. I hope she weans herself off him - slowlee- slowlee but I am not going to say much. Rebel and I are spending Easter at a friend's place. This is good. XSU was never big on Easter. Not being of a spiritual bent of any kind he didn't understand my joy on the holiday or my keen sense of Easter being such a wonderful Sunday quiet kind of holiday. I think the last few years, he'd go off and start doing construction stuff, which I regularly kyboshed. It was so incredibly disrespectful and rude.
None of that this year. At least not at my house.

Rebel didn't even plan on spending time with him. Her remark was " Easter is a religious thing. Dad doesn't ever go to church so why would I bother celebrating a holiday with him that he doesn't celebrate. C'mon now mum!" OK.

I've been marking assignments for the last 5 days, and am now counting down to the finals next week. Yippee Nearly done. These students have produced some amazing products. I should have had them do half my work for me. Next year!

Sunday Snippets

Three days until Rebel Junior is off to France. Packing commences today. We got a nifty suitcase - expandable, on wheels and looks like a big carry on bag instead of a suitcase. Borrowed it from a one of my coop students at work.

Now that I've read Julie and Julia, but haven't seen the movie yet, I might just have to get my mom's copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking, look up "beef" and see what I can do with it. May be once or twice a week, in my spare time.

I have one day to scrap book a little photo album for RJ to take to France for Frenchy. 40 photos shouldn't take long.


Both girls dumped a whole whack of clothes in the spare bedroom. I went "psycho" according to Rebel, and took all the clothes, put them into 4! count'em FOUR garbage bags and dumped them into the trunk of my car. There were a whole pile of socks, and never worn stuff in there that belongs to Rebel's BF. oh well. They will end up at the ST. Vincent de Paul Society.

I stopped taking my stuff to the Diabetes Association, because they sell their stuff to Value Village which is owned by WAL MART!!! I try to avoid Wal Mart- except for the $175 I spent there yesterday buying cleaning crap, and stuff like that. I went in to pick up the $6 worth of photos for the above mentioned scrapbook.

Will be writing my first test for my students this week. There's some stress. I've never written tests before. Better make sure it's fair and understandable.

There seem to be some good furniture sales and I was going to buy a recliner for myself for the basement, but decided I will look for a chaise lounger for my bedroom instead. Selfish? Indeed. I want and need somewhere to rest my weary spirit when I want to escape and Calgon isn't cutting it.

I hear there is a football game today? I'll be catching missed episodes of Modern Family instead.

Decking the Halls: Faking it 'Til I Make it.

Christmas is a few days away and I am still not really feeling it. The cards are waiting to be done - I have a few more gifts to buy. I never did send anything out to the fam this year- I am behind worse than ever. And I am thinking I am just going to go with the flow of it. I am thinking of calling it post traumatic divorce/separation disorder.

PTDSD not an excuse I don't think. Just getting through the process kept me going. These past few months have been dealing with the after math of the process and perhaps this could be the reason that the ho ho ho-ing isn't coming quite naturally. My family is split apart with one kid with her dad a 1000 miles away and the other telling me that Christmas is going to be just plain weird. I get that.

However this evening I'll go buy a tree and wrestle it into the trunk of the Taurus somehow. The Rebel's BF is around though he did something to his back and is pretty much useless, but he wants to stay in my good books so he'll figure out a way to help me get the tree stand on and the thing into the house to thaw out.

So the decorations will go up tonight and tomorrow and I'll play the CDs sent to me by my friend in Washington - the three CDs that go buy the title "not your crooner's Christmas and I am sure I'll come around. It is about the feeling and looking forward to way to bond with the RJ if she'll let me.

Sunday Snippets

It's Sunday again.  

I haven't been to church in some time.  The church I attend is a good 30 - 40 minutes away.  Since my separation, I have found that I am exhausted, probably mentally and physically.  I spend the week driving to work. (I pass my church on the way.)  Then I've spent Saturday after Saturday running errands, getting groceries, laundry and all that blah blah blah. Sunday morning arrives and I just haven't been able to face getting into my car and driving again.  Poor excuse, I know.  There is no Saturday option and ony one English liturgy.   I want time where I don't "have to" do anything.  Unfortunately, it would appear my spiritual life is dealing with the consequences of this malaise.  

Interestingly, our pastor, a useless man who has no interest in people, hasn't even called to see where I've disappeared.  Speaks volumes about him.   I could go to the local RC church, but I don't find it very satisfying.  No doubt I'll get back to church soon, but  I do have to say I have enjoyed not rushing to get out of my PJS and out of the house, and not being back home til mid afternoon.  For now. 

I've been really cranky this weekend.  Things seem to be out of my control and I am not handling it well. Just as I had thought things were starting to settle down. 

Last night I was supposed to have gone out to a Christmas party at a friend's house.  I didn't go. I don't know what it is lately, but I'm not interested in being in houses full of people.  I also missed my annual association party earlier in the week.  I don't ever miss it.  I didn't want to go.  I am on deck for another party next Saturday and I don't know if I'll be going to that one or not. I said I would but who knows.

Rebel "broke up" with her BF. Let me back up - they both moved back to my place.   Cranky?  hmm let me think about this. 

They came back because the uncle was giving her a hard time about all kinds of things and I think the BF had enough of him.  Less than two days after they arrived, and BF hadn't come home after work til nearly midnight Rebel told him to get lost.  Not sure if this is going to really be officially done or not.  She broke up with him but he's still around.  First step - she says she needs a break.  Apparently he will be living with the uncle and she is staying with me.  She left her dog at the BF's uncle's place where they were living.  The dog will continue to stay with him.  

Rebel's dog has been here this weekend.  Can you see my head ache?

It's too noisy and I end up sequestering my little dog because the puppy is all over him.  Though even that's not quite accurate because my little dog has never been neutered and tries to play alpha - and he is marking in my house.... it's not good.  I've told Rebel, if she is staying with me that's great, but her dog is not welcome.  She's not training him, he barks and it gives me a head ache.   I did tell her she has a choice - my place without the dog, or her dad's with her dog and she could come over any time.    IF XSU is smart he'll take her.  Problem is I don't think she wants to be there. 

Rebel had borrowed my futon couch when she and the BF originally moved out back in the spring.  They brought it back and put it in the garage.  I came home from work on Monday this week and the frame was sitting in the middle of my living room.  Rebel's BF told me he couldn't get it down stairs to the basement  because it was too big and awkward. He said he was getting an allan key from his dad to take it apart to get it down the stairs. That was Monday.  Today is Sunday and the thing is STILL sitting in the middle of my living room.   Cranky  - very cranky!  I finally got beyond irritable and I thought  made myself clear - to get the thing OUT of the living room on Friday    Last I checked this AM, after BF had his smoke, ate my pancakes and showered in my shower, he was watching television and not moving much.

Rebel has decided to go with XSU to visit his family in NS over Christmas which is interesting because she doesn't like the SIL or her female cousin.  The boys - she gets along with quite well.  In one way it's good she is going - it gives her a chance to back away from her life for a bit and relax.  I am not sure it will be a great get away given she doesn't like her aunt or the one cousin.  

For now Rebel Junior is staying home with me but not sure if she'll change her mind or not.  I am hedging not because she doesn't want to be away from her friends that long given she's going to France in 6 weeks. 

I'm not feeling bad about Rebel getting away from BF - at Christmas time even.  I am hoping this is the beginning of the end for this relationship  I am staying out of it, as hard as it is for me the mother, and hope she is able to move on.  This has never been a normal relationship.  It didn't follow a normal kind of progression - meet, get to know, date,  get serious.  If Rebel hadn't been sick I am quite sure this one wouldn't have lasted long at all.   I am zipping up my mouth around Rebel and praying this goes the way everyone who knows her wants it to go.

Now I need to get this crankiness under control and do something a little more in keeping with the advent season. 

Drama and dilemmas

It seems that I am on the go all the time.  Not far or anything too taxing, but I am really ready for about a week of nothing.  Only problem is I only have 4 days of vacation left until start of the new fiscal year which is April 1.  Man I hope I can make it.  After Christmas there are no stat holidays until Easter so I think I'll save my last few days for those times when I really need the break.  The annual scrap and spa weekend comes to mind.  Oh bliss.

Rebel Junior was at the XSU's this past weekend.  As usual she left a lovely disaster in the new basement - dishes, clothes, and an assortment of teen paraphenalia.  I left the dishes in a pile, tidied up around them and then hid her computer and camera - not to be returned til said dishes found their way into the dishwasher.

As I expected RJ returned home on Sunday and had a fit that I had taken her computer and was keeping her from doing all her homework.  Never mind that her father has a computer in his house that I have been told is the latest aned greatest.  For three hours as she harangued at me, I kept repeating, " clean up your mess - it will take all of 5 minutes and you'll get your computer back. "  If she had taken all that energy used yelling me about giving back her computer and just complied with my request it would have been done in five minutes.   She loves the drama that one.

Unlike her father, I won't and didn't cave in.  She again threatened me with going to live at her dad's full time.  I calmly told her that was her choice.  What's she gonna do?  Frankly, moving to her dad's would involve picking every piece of clothing off the floor of her room and  putting them  in something called a suit case or even trash bags,  and I think that's too much effort for her right now  LOL

Interestingly, Rebel, although living with the loser BF, tends to drop by and stay at my house almost every day or second day.  I asked her why she is constantly at my house aned not going to her dad's place which is closer into town.  Her response was "it doesn't feel like home." 

 I am putting up with RJ's slovenliness and Rebel's leaving stuff around or taking food home out of my fridge,

I am also counting down til RJ goes to France- 74 days.  Rebel may end up living here again too as I am hearing a little more often now " I nearly broke up with him" or some variation on this theme.

More importantly this week, is the troubling dilemma of  Pride or Alouettes All the way?   HOW can I score a trip to the Grey Cup in Calgary on Sunday?!?!?  yes yes yes.. sold out... what EV...  any game with the Saskatchewan Green machine is gonna be good, especially since it's being played in the heart of football country.    Ah well, this may not be the year, so I will find  a few friends, maybe a great sports bar and enjoy the crowd around me - but I won't be painting my face green. 

Taped up!

Thank goodness for duct tape.  And it now comes in a gazillion different colours too. My recyle boxes are both cracked and looking pretty "ghetto" as the kids say.   I am too cheap to go out and get some new ones.  So I thought to myhself. " If I was the cheap SOB XSU what would I do in this situation?"  And of course the answer came to me pretty much instantly - duct tape.

So I have duct taped the box up and ya know... it does look even more ghetto and RJ sat there rolling her eyes as I put the boxes together.  I just wish I had hot pink and lime green rather than your industrial black. But at least I don't have to go out and buy a bunch of new boxes for garbage day.

My main floor is so close to being finished.  But I think I am hitting reno fatigue.  A few things to move back to the basement, plus two big moving boxes full of stuff that I have to figure out what to do with, and it will be mostly done.

I am bringing my grandma's table up to the dining room but I have to keep a table cloth on it because it is so badly stained it needs refinishing.  I've never done that before and will get a friend to help me with it.  The chairs need to be re upolstered too and I think the same friend will be able to help me do that too.  That will be pretty easy to do I think.  I've watched the youtube how to videos.

It took RJ two days to clean up her mess from her party.  Her laptop has viruses on it she doesn't want to use it until we do a full clean up.  I told her she could use my laptop - AFTER she cleaned up.  She didn't bother until late afternoon and by then I had left the house and put the lofk on the laptop so she couldn't use it.

She says she's going to her dad's for the week but I haven't seen any evidence of her packing her stuff yet.  A week off would be nice.  I have to say I am not missing XSU's presence at all.

I am now heading to look around the house to see what else needs a little duct tape. 

Be prepared- back up plans

The crankiness continues, but I am working through it.  RJ has made it plain that as soon as Frenchy leaves, she's outta here.  She's going to live with Dad.  Okay.... am I supposed to do something about that?  It almost sounded to me like a challenge, but I am not sure.  Of course she'll go. 

Meanwhile, "Dad" is doing whatever he does in his lonely little bungalow in Bells Corners, AKA, BC, where he resides a few minutes away from me.  I got an email from him asking me what RJ's weight was when she was born.  I sent it to him and figure what the hell, may as well ask why he needs it.    He's applying for a birth certificate for her. UMMM  That's been done. Over 18 momths ago I got her birth certificate.  The girl needs a Social Insurance Number so she can get a job.  At the time I got her birth certificate I asked him to please get the SIN card since the government office where the paper work needs to be dropped off is two minutes from his school. I asked him to finish up the details, take the girl down there and get it done.  18 months later we continue to wait. Same with her passport.

Frenchy's time with us is nearly done.  Seriously - it's been three months already.  Can't believe it. The only two things I asked XSU to do with the girls:  1- Take them to Montreal for a day, and 2- take them to a hockey game.  Montreal was nixed - he doesn't have the money, and he'll get tickets for a game this week. They're playing out of town this week and back for a game on Halloween. I roll my eyes.  RJ of course, has plans for Halloween night.  The game for some reason is at 2 PM so they will go - IF XSU manages to actually go out and buy tickets. I thought I was doing both girls a favour since XSU really does know the game better than I do, but I LOVE the arena, whereas XSU prefers to sit alone with a beer or something and watch in the privacy of his own bungalow without people around him.  WhatEV. 

Rebel has been talking "break up" again - it comes it goes.  But more often these days.  I think she's sorta getting fed up but not quite ready enough yet.  She breaks up with him she's going to land at my house.  I so do NOT want her dog. So I will have to have a back up plan and I suspect it will be XSU.  This does make me laugh as he so wants to Garbo it - "I vant to be alone" but he'll have both girls and whatever noise they both bring around.  All speculation so far, but it's good to be prepared.

Cranky

I am giddy with tiredness.  I am waaaaay over tired.  But here I am - in bed- in the dark watching U2 on YouTube. It was apparently very loud as RJ came in and told me to turn it down.  What? It's Elevation - my absolutely favourite U2 song.  I LOVE that song.  Grudgingly I did turn it down.  It's 12:48 AM and I should be well into my beauty rest.  God knows at my age, puffy eyes in the morning are totally not attractive.     

The Edge... coolest of the cool axe men and my goodness what is it about those strong quiet guitar types anyway?   That touque though.. as much as he always wears it - I bet he's gone bald under that hat and has "issues." WhatEv. See how tired I am rambling away on the blog. 

This has been a seriously stupidly busy week.  I had things going on every evening after work.  A couple of meetings, an exit interview with a coach leaving the gym - that was some one hour- a memorial service for a friend's dad, plus the usual chauffering and dealing with RJ and Frenchy.    Rebel came around more than once scrounging for food.  

The windows were all replaced and I had to take care of a couple of little imperfections. TattooYou - the Hunky Handyman's work partner - came in to paint trim along the front hall and finish the main floor. I had planned on a quiet weekend alone at home but for some reason RJ didn't go to the XSU's place and I ended up having to run her around with Frenchy.   The weekend was no better.  I didn't stop either day and I find I am not interested in that kind of pace but with no one around to pick up around me, I did what I had to do. 

On the one hand I don't mind RJ being here but she has not an ounce of gratitude in her little self and I am rather tired of it.  I am hoping that once Frenchy leaves, in 10 days, that RJ will go spend some time at her dad's and leave me in peace for a week or three.  Unmotherly?  Perhaps but the reality is - I hope she is as brutal towards her father as she is to me.   I am exhausted with her and need the break to re group.

 This single parenting thing makes me tired and at the same time makes it impossible to sleep as stuff keeps racing through my head.

The two girls are eating me out of house and home.  Have I ever mentioned that I do NOT enjoy grocery shopping except as therapy?  To actually have to keep track of bread, milk, cheese and yogurt bores me.  It was an SU task  as was the monies spent on thd is stuff.. Two teen age girls in the house and I swear I am spending a small fortune every week on food.  And of course the usual refrain of "there's nothing to eat" two minutes after all the groceries were put away.

I had Rebel, her BF, RJ Frenchy and one of RJ's friends at the house this evening.  Rebel wants take out food - and half the groceries went out the door with her. My kitchen is totally turned around due to the minor imperfection with the windows.  too long of a story for now.

   
Do I sound cranky?  I feel cranky.  Perhaps a good night's rest would cure that?   Vertigo - my other favourite U2 song.   Time to crash.  6:30arrives way too soon. 




 

The Buck Stops Here

I have spent the weekend schelpping stuff either up or downstairs.  I am trying to empty the dining room of stuff from the basement and then shifting other stuff around in the other rooms as my windows are finally being replaced this week.  I don't like the idea of these *guys* traipsing through my house - every room in my house - but how else are they gonna get the job done.   My main floor is slowly getting back to being a real living and dining room.  I need to have a garage sale but the season is done.  So the stuff in my garage might just get hauled away by some charity or other.  I don't believe I'd make much money.  I am going to post a few things on our employee forum for sale board at work and see if I can unload a few things.

I called XSU to find out if or when the girls were coming back.  I asked what consequences he imposed on RJ over her skipping classes.  AS expected - not much of anything from his blah blah blah.  "I told her she had to go apologize to the history teacher."  big whoop.  I told him I left a message for the history teacher and the Athletics Assocation teacher and that they were to throw the book at her.  No more leaving classes to take photos at sports tournaments, no skipping classes at all, or her trip to France would be jeopardized .  He told me that was too "harsh"  My eyes are rolling so hard I am getting a head ache. 

Of course the girls didn't get back here til after 9 PM and sure as heck were not in the mood to help me at that time of night.  As expected RJ was going on about needing the laptop.  I told her sure, after she tidied up the ktichen that was spotless until she walked into the door and had to have a snack. Well, she never came back for the laptop so I am just guessing when I go downstairs my kitchen will still be a disaster zone.  sigh...

And yes... point well taken, when RJ is at his house, I have zero control  But when the calls from teachers come to my house and I have her during the week, oh baby the buck will stop with me.

I curse you XSU!

The girls - RJ and Frenchy - are with XSU this weekend.  Thank goodness.  I needed the break and it couldn't have come soon enough.  I don't know how single parents with little ones who demand attention manage because two 16 year old girls and I am crawling by the end of the day.  There is something to be said for having babies at age 21 instead of a career.  That way you're not in your 50s going through perimenopause and dealing with a hormonal teen too.  Too many of the wrong kind of hormones mixing together.    I digress.....

Rushing to get dinner.  Getting things done after dinner.  Taking the dog out for a walk.  Hopefully things will calm down a little once Frenchy heads home.  I have tried asking RJ to do more to contribute and I am not getting too far.... yet.   Again her father's legacy. I continue to demand and every now and again - when she wants something - I manage to get some cooperation.  I am not like her father and I won't end up giving up and doing things myself.  I don't have that energy.  The girl needs to be responsible and contribute to this little household. 

She pulled a couple of fast ones this week with Frenchy and I let XSU know I wasn't impressed and he shouldn't be either. By Sunday afternoon her phone - and life line via text - will be turned off for a few days and I have hidden her laptop - again- until I see a few changes.  Though I have to admit her not having cell access ends up disturbing me almost as much as it bothers her.   I am already gearing up - ear plugs please - to deal with her whining and yowling about her phone and blah blah computer for homework.   Talk to the hand I say.

I have to call XSU and see what he's decided to do - if anything -  I suspect his gum surgery will be making him stupider than usual and he won't be doing much of anything in the consequences of your actions department.  Can you see me roll my eyes.

On the reno front - The HH informed me that I had better get a new roof on the house.  I had a roofing company come in and sure enough he said from the look of the thing I should have holes in my ceiilings by now.  One more thing that XSU let go. I have put such a big Ukrainian curse on him it's gonna be more than gum surgery inconveniencing him for some time.  I had planned on the roof for next spring, but both HH and the roofing guy - the husband of a woman I work with so he is trustworthy - have told me NOW.  Oh well... new roof or basement furniture... not much choice.

Good time had by all.

It wasn't bad as long weekends go.  It sure wasn't typicial by any stretch.  No turkey yet.  Rebel was in a snit that I wasn't make a turkey.;  XSU didn't bother either.  Something he usually does.

I took RJ and Frenchy to Toronto for the long weekend.  XSU told me he'd reimburse me "his share" of my expenses.  What ev - don't know what that means, but I have the receipts and have itemized them so he will get the bills. 

RJ as usual wanted nothing more than to hit the malls.  That's the extent of her idea of going on a trip anywhere.  I was luckily able to divert her attention some what to go see some friends sing at one of their regular gigs - even if for only the last 4 or 5 songs or so.  Nonetheless the girls enjoyed the walk there and back.  I had hoped to engage said friends in conversation but they were lucky enough to have a journalist interested in their songs and experiences so we left and hiked back to the hotel stopping enroute for a bite to eat in a little restaurant the girls picked out. 

We saw the new Andrew Lloyd Weber play The Lost Boys in the Photograph - a wonderfully entertaining yet thoughtful look at The Troubles in Ireland through the eyes of a bunch of boys on a soccer "football" team.   It was originally called The Beautiful Game.  A great story.   Before going to the theatre I took the girls to the top of the CN Tower.  We did the VIP version - no waiting in line to go up the elevator no waiting to come down either.  We enjoyed lunch in the revolving restaurant.  yes it cost a pretty penny - but it was well worth it for the view and surprisingly the food was good too.  No waiting either.  I hate waiting especially when I have things to do.Add in some Abercrombie and Fitch time as well as Hollister and Pottery Barn for me and it was a good day. 

The hotel was pretty cramped -   Smallest room I've seen for a while.  I used my points from Air Canada so I don't feel too ripped off.  At least the girls made use of the gym at the hotel.  Frenchy would have gone in the pool with the 4 story slide but RJ didn't bother bringing her bathing suit.  I think she regretted that.  And I refused to buy her another one.  

I managed to put my car over a curb.  The noise was awful.  And I had to make just as much noise to get off the curb.  Not a pretty sight.   RJ had taken a picture.  When we arrived at the hotel I was pretty stressed  - the girl at Reception felt bad for me - either because of my problematic driving skills or kid mocking me because of said driving skills she gave me the cot for the room at no charge.  I valet parked the park and didn't look at it again til it was time to leave.

I only got lost once.  I do not like driving in Toronto.  I like flying or taking the train to Toronto.

I now have these girls for a full two weeks.  XSU has to  have more gum surgery and  doesn't want to have them around while he is in pain and off work.  No doubt I will be dragging by the time they spend a weekend with him. 

Emphatically NO!

Rebel and the BF have to move out of their basement apartment. The upstairs tenants are moving out and the two don't want to stay there. The place has its problems too

The BF has lost yet another job and Rebel is in school full time. I want her to stay there. The BF while trying to find work, doesn't have any trades papers or other qualifications. He's good at a lot of things but nothing that certifies his skills. 

So guess what?   She wants to move back - with him and her little dog too! I am not impressed. I told her to go see her father. XSU said no. A 3 bedroom house and a full basement and he said no. Can we say selfish bastard? He then proceeded to tell her all the reasons why they should move in with me. He will build a dog house and a run for the dog. They could live in my newly renovated basement. They would keep me company and "help me out" so I wouldn't have to be alone. 

OF COURSE XSU doesn't want the Rebel and her BF nor the little dog too at his place. It might interfere with his aloofness and need to be alone.   OF COURSE he assumes I would be ready to welcome all with open arms. The truth is I am not. I told Rebel if she had to move back she could. I would rather her BF moved back to his own parents place - they won't have him - and the dog? Not welcome. I have one dog and that's more than enough. She thnks I am harsh and a bitch. But her father? oh it's all right for him to say no and he's not selfish at all.

I have to have more than a few words with XSU on his totally inaccurate assumptions and utter selfishness. With RJ heading to France for three months I have been anticipating a quiet three months without having to deal with the every day demands of a teen nor of her almost equally demanding older sister. I believe that given the life I have contended with for oh the last 7-8 years or so I am entitled to that peace and calm for at least three months.

I *really* believe that XSU owes me - separation or not. It's his turn to shoulder this responsibility.  Rebel, her BF along with her little dog too would all be very comfortable over there. I now have to make that point wih him. Very emphatically.

Exhausted.

This single parenting thing is exhausting.  I didn't think it would be as bad but with an exchange student in the house - two 16 year old girls are keeping me busy.  Gotta admit though, it's better than two toddlers, or worse, four kids or whatever most single parents have to cope with.

RJ has been with me since the split.  She's only been at SXU's while I was away - and there is a story.

While I was in Norway - RJ had the audacity to throw a party - in my house - with alcohol and about 15 kids - of which at least half stayed over night.  She told XSU she was staying at a friend's and he of course, didn't bother verifying it on a land line.  It wasn't hard to figure out she had a bash as rather than cleaning up after herself she left a huge mess in the kitchen.  I had spent half the night before I left putting the house in order so it would be all calm and good when I returned.  The assault that hit me when I walked in made me scream with fury.  And she didn't bother cleaning up because - she knew the consequences would be minimal if any.

When I told XSU what had happened - he thought I was exaggerating.  She lied about where she was, she lied about what she did and she most certainly broke trusts on so many levels.  He brought the girls back and I made him look around the place to see what had happened.

The best he could come up with was to take away her camera.  I turned off her phone after I was done with my first bit of primal scream therapy.

Laptop was dicey.  I couldn't remember the password for the wireless network - roll eyes - so couldn't change that.    I am still working on that.

She also had to come straight home every day with SXU and no outside activities allowed after school.  However, again this past weekend there were more parties - and XSU allowed her to to.  I would have said no. BUT she was not at my house.

Better even, XSU took away her key to his house.  She claims she never needed a key to get into my house because the door was left unlocked.  Totally NOT possible.  It doesn't matter any way since I am under renovations and the doors and locks are being replaced in the next couple of weeks.