Moving on .

I've been blogging for a few years now. Sometimes sporadically sometimes daily, but almost regularly. I have finally separated from XSU and starting to live a new life on my own. The original blog helped me get through the painful process of the end of the marriage, along with some bumpy roads dealing with a critically ill child in the midst of the end of marriage mess. Now this blog will see me through the new paths and adventures that life has to offer. Restructuring my life. My way. My experiences, ventings, musings on that whole big and not so big deal.

October 06, 2009

Emphatically NO!

Rebel and the BF have to move out of their basement apartment. The upstairs tenants are moving out and the two don't want to stay there. The place has its problems too

The BF has lost yet another job and Rebel is in school full time. I want her to stay there. The BF while trying to find work, doesn't have any trades papers or other qualifications. He's good at a lot of things but nothing that certifies his skills. 

So guess what?   She wants to move back - with him and her little dog too! I am not impressed. I told her to go see her father. XSU said no. A 3 bedroom house and a full basement and he said no. Can we say selfish bastard? He then proceeded to tell her all the reasons why they should move in with me. He will build a dog house and a run for the dog. They could live in my newly renovated basement. They would keep me company and "help me out" so I wouldn't have to be alone. 

OF COURSE XSU doesn't want the Rebel and her BF nor the little dog too at his place. It might interfere with his aloofness and need to be alone.   OF COURSE he assumes I would be ready to welcome all with open arms. The truth is I am not. I told Rebel if she had to move back she could. I would rather her BF moved back to his own parents place - they won't have him - and the dog? Not welcome. I have one dog and that's more than enough. She thnks I am harsh and a bitch. But her father? oh it's all right for him to say no and he's not selfish at all.

I have to have more than a few words with XSU on his totally inaccurate assumptions and utter selfishness. With RJ heading to France for three months I have been anticipating a quiet three months without having to deal with the every day demands of a teen nor of her almost equally demanding older sister. I believe that given the life I have contended with for oh the last 7-8 years or so I am entitled to that peace and calm for at least three months.

I *really* believe that XSU owes me - separation or not. It's his turn to shoulder this responsibility.  Rebel, her BF along with her little dog too would all be very comfortable over there. I now have to make that point wih him. Very emphatically.


Lily on the Road said...

Nope, it's not up to you nor the XSU, R & BF are old enough to play house, then they can find a house with their little dog too. Pony up with responsiblities kidlettes, time to become the adults you think you are.

IF you allow them into your home, you know they will NOT be responsible tentants, and that's what they SHOULD be, TENANTS.

Why open yourself up to that? As for her attitude that you're a beotch, she knows what makes you tick, so therefore she is trying to push the Ennuie buttons...

well, and why would you want that attitude in the house to begin with?

stick to your guns girl, time for Adulthood...
theirs not yours.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Lily. I have always told my kids that as long as I have a place in the world they need not be out in the streets... however, they will adjust to my way of living and my rules not the other way around. (yes I know that in reality I too would make adjustments. Just not most of them) And how could that be worse than living in the street?

In this case, I would point out that you have already shouldered the responsibility of taking them in. He will undoubtably counter with it was "our" house at the time but the fact is, he was a border, kept to his room and didn't really do anything to provide for them other than he was "just there". Many episodes I remember of the girls doing what they shouldn't and he wasn't aware of it.

yeah, you can play house in your own house not in mine.


Anonymous said...

What they said.

But also, you have put the conditions for R to move in with you out there. It is up to her to comply with them or not. Whatever arrangement she needs or wants to make with her father should be between them.
You can't force him to do what you would like for him to do or even what is obviously the right thing for him to do. You couldn't do so when he lived under the same roof and you surely cannot do so now that he does not. He may owe you but you will never be able to collect.

Hang in there.
Love and hugs,
~ b