Moving on .

I've been blogging for a few years now. Sometimes sporadically sometimes daily, but almost regularly. I have finally separated from XSU and starting to live a new life on my own. The original blog helped me get through the painful process of the end of the marriage, along with some bumpy roads dealing with a critically ill child in the midst of the end of marriage mess. Now this blog will see me through the new paths and adventures that life has to offer. Restructuring my life. My way. My experiences, ventings, musings on that whole big and not so big deal.

March 29, 2010

Perogies by Skype and a mouth full of instruments

The Telethon raised over 5.6 million dollars! It always amazes me the way people manage to come through for this hospital. Rebel chatted with two guys - one on his second heart and another who's one year in. They talked drugs, issues, and had a great time. They are both older than her, but she and they had a grand time.

On Monday Rebel's picture was in the paper along with an article about the telethon. They always go for the pretty young ones over the middle aged man for the photo op don't they? Unless the middle aged guy delivers a cheque for over 500K!

Rebel's BF has finally moved out. It didn't go well. She's rather stressed about it all. But she does realize he lies, cheats, and generally sneaks around. He has issues. The latest of which is that his license is suspended. I never did figure out for what. So... they are taking a break maybe. At least he's not around. He doesn't pay his phone bill so it won't be easy for him to talk to her either. One day at a time. She's already making plans without him.

Looks like I might be able to help Rebel get a job. I am on a board of directors at one of gymnastics centres - a high performance gym. ( long story on how I got wrangled into this one!) They always need coaches for the little kids and Rebel is really good with kids. Her diving experience make her a shoe in to be able to teach kinder gym, tumble jumpers and all these cutie pie things, so she is up for that. She's also looking to coach diving again. And she's almost ready herself to hit the boards and see what she can do. I say go for it!

Rebel Junior asked me for a perogy recipe for her French mom. I don't use a recipe and figured it would take forever to write one up. I found a really cute how to recipe on you tube! 10 minute little production and she will be a perogy queen... maybe. What kills me about this is that RJ never helped me while I made perogies ever. I guess she might be able to direct this little operation but I told her maybe we could make them together using Skype. The six hour time change could be a challenge but this could be fun! I hope we do try that. It could be a first.

I had an appointment for the dentist today and the receptionist called me up and said "XSU is going to be here at the same time as your appointment. Are you sure you want to be here?" I half thought about going in. We'd be in separate rooms and all that but I didn't want to hear his voice or any of his opinions. The man can talk through anything even with a mouth full of dental instruments. Just being at the dentist's is pain enough so I changed my appointment. The teeth cleaning can wait another week.

March 27, 2010

Saturday snippets. Because I will be busy on Sunday

There was a 1996 Mustang in my drive way this week. Now WHERE the hell did that come from I wondered? No doubt Rebel's BF had something to do with it. And where was the 2004 Impala that he "gave" her. This was gonna be good.

Didn't that idiot do a trade - the Impala for the Mustang. Well, so much for Rebel's car, given to her by her BF. phhhhht. gone! And what about the insurance for her that was tied to the Impala on my policy? I told Rebel it had to be canceled because insurance rates for her to drive a sports car would be through the roof because of her age. She was okay with this. And infact said she'd get on that ASP. For a 31 year old man, this guy really thinks like a 14 year old. He traded a newer car for an older one with no price change. UnBELIEVAble! But typical. And now he's driving around in a 14 yr old car that he says is "better" than a 4 yr old one. Okay.

I asked Rebel what the deal was and what about the fact that she no longer had a car. Some gift. She told me her dad was going to allow her to drive his old station wagon that he's replaced with a new Fusion. Good! ok. Whatever she is feeling about the BF giving away "her" car she isn't saying.

Not sure how all this will play out.

Rebel Junior sent me a note from France on what she is doing in school all day. Doodles on note paper. LOL She doesn't have to keep up with their work because she does have her own work, however she is finding it hard to understand what's going on in the classrooms - even the English class. That's okay. It's good for her to stretch herself. I am sure she is learning "something" just not sure what.

I am going h0me to visit my dad and brother and a few good friends right after Easter. I can't stay at my brother's house because of the family's two Siamese cats. I have allergies that cause no end of sneezing and itchy eyes around cats. So my dad set me up in a guest suite at "the home." I will be hanging out with a bunch of old folkscarpet bowling, and playing bingo and who knows what else! RJ suggested I hook up with someone and date while I am there. My sister in law tells me that my dad is the spry-est of the bunch there... so no date options. This time!

Lately, a whole bunch of high school and elementary friends have found me on Facebook. I've turned down two friend requests because even though a couple of them seem to know me, I cannot for the life of me remember them, so no friend connections. One of them is a RCMP cop so I am sure he'll get it.

Had drinks with a colleague from work last night. She is going through a separation from her second husband. He and XSU could be twins. He won't leave the house and doesn't want to separate until after next Christmas because he wants to stay in their house but can't afford it. I told her EFF that... sell the damn thing if he can't afford to pay you out now. She said her lawyer told her she couldn't do that. I told her to get a new lawyer. There oughtta be a club.

I am applying for two different jobs in my organization. One would be a promotion, one would be visibility. Both would be equally challenging and out of my comfort zone. I am thinking money over visibility is going to have to win. I will ponder further if I get interviews to discuss- but given how government interviews, I doubt it will hep much over my informal chats with others in the organization.

Oh and the Meez over there is in scrubs because this is the Telethon Sunday. Rebel and I will be live on tv answering phones for two hours. The hospital also has another profile of her. I had wanted to post it on my FB page, but A - she didn't want me to, and B it's in some fancy movie or video format that is not compatible and wouldn't upload. I have to take it some video production type place and have it transferred to the the right format - for a price. It's only about 3 minutes long so it wouldn't be a fortune. I might still, if I can get Rebel to change her mind.

March 22, 2010

Sunday Snippets on Early Monday

I play far too much Bejeweled on Facebook. I can't beat my friends. And all this bejeweling is causing something akin to carpal tunnel or repetitive strain on my right hand. I gotta get a mouse for the lap top. I have one, I just haven't uploaded the software.

I went to see U2 3D at the IMax this weekend. O.M.G. It was awesome. The Edge.... is H.O.T.ter in 3D . Waaaay better than paying the $100 for an arena seat. What is it about a man with a good set of muscular pipes throwing a guitar around? It works baby. OK the toque?'s a trademark look, probably the usual attempt to hide the baldness. And you men out there... don't go there. You're not The Edge. You cannot possibly carry off the look.

Apparently XSU talked to Rebel about moving. I have no idea of the outcome of that conversation, because true to form, XSU has not reported back. Due to something Rebel mentioned to me, he did manage to say the one thing that he didn't need to tell her - concerning finances of course.

I had to tell Rebel's BF to NOT be so helpful around my house. He was attempting to be helpful by moving stuff around where I didn't want it. He was starting in on how I should do this and that, and I pretty much lost it on him. " You sound like the XSU and you know how well that worked for me!" I can laugh now, but at the time I was ready to grab him by the collar and boot him to through the back yard. He then followed his usual MO and left the house.

Rebel thinks I am a whacko psycho mom when I lose it. I prefer to believe that I have permission to express myself.

March 19, 2010

It's all drama

A woman is alone at home. We arrive on the scene as she watches her daughter leave the house . The daughter is going to her dad's place. In her mother's car, of course.

The woman picks up the phone and dials a number. As she waits for a response to her call, she checks out the freezer for something to eat. Cherry perogies. oh YUM.

"Oh hi, it's me. " She always says "it's me" rather than "It's Marie". It's just odd. She doesn't know if he has caller ID or not but doesn't care. He knows who "me" is.

" I would like Rebel to live with you for a while. I am tired of her boyfriend, her dog and her frankly! "

"How long would a little while be," he responds. She takes the phone from her ear, gives it WTF look, takes a deep breath and tries to respond civilly. She then takes a sip of the Dalwhinnie out of her special crystal whiskey glass - fortitude.

"I really don't know. All I know is that I need a break. I'm having a very tough time getting any respect. I feel like I am living with a bad college room mate who can't be bothered doing much of anything . Never mind her dog and her boyfriend. It's just too much."

"Well, says the man on the other end of the phone, " I suppose she can come here. How soon? My place isn't very big. I don't know if I could let her stay here for very long."

Time for another WTF look at the phone. Deep breath. Zen. Stay calm. Another bigger sip of whiskey!

" I suspect an entire family grew up in that house so having your daughter and her dog shouldn't be that big a deal. She is your daughter after all. "

He proceeds to ask a lot of questions asking about the issues, and in a very lame way starts up with the "you shoulds" You know how that goes - You should try, you should do blah blah yada yada. She remembers she isn't married to him any more and the 'you shoulds' slide off her shoulders and seem to melt away.

"Well how long would you expect her to stay with me?" he asks again.

Exasperated, she responds " as long as it takes" The sips of whiskey are starting to turn into gulps!

"as long as it takes?" he asks.

"yeah... as long as it takes." she responds again.

" I'll see what I can do," They end the conversation berating the daughter's BF agreeing he is not of good character and is probably using the girl in any number of ways.


it's all drama. But he'll take the girl. For longer than he thinks.

It will probably mean paying some child support thinks the woman - but the exchange of money for peace of mind seems to be a fair trade.

March 16, 2010

Cool Double Standard.

I forgot my glasses at home today. I wear prescription sunglasses and hen I drive I prefer prescription sunglasses. When I switched from the regular specs to the shades, I left the specs on the dining room table instead of dropping them into my bag. It was the two dogs' fault. I had to deal with them this morning and put the glasses down instead of into my purse. Damn dogs.

So I am walking around the office like some cool hip hop star in my shades. Reading my planning spreadsheet - not so easy. I can't see the phone caller id panel because of the back lighting. But hanging onto my coffee mug as I walk the halls going to and from errands and drops off - in my shades - think Haughty and untouchable. Not sure these are good traits for a service oriented information researcher, but that's how I roll today.
It's just how *cool* I am.

And in other news, as much as Rebel and I have been at odds lately, and it is seriously at odds - she relayed to me the fact that XSU is going to be "partying" all week because it's St Paddy's day on Wednesday and he is off work this week.

When I am not the victim of her vituperative tongue, I find her rants quite funny and dead on. She is actually pretty disgusted that her father finds a need to party and won't grow up. I told her that he does it because he has a fear of getting older and so he does what he did in his youth to help re gain those feelings and emotional safety nets. Her response? get ready for it.

"Well he needs to get over this youth thing, because he's nearly 60 years old and drives an old man car - which makes him an old man whether or not he likes it, and I am the daughter to tell him! " Seriously, that's what she said.

She also told him in quite plain language what she would do if she ever found out he dated anyone younger than her mother.

I asked her what she would do to me if I ever dated anyone younger than her mother too?

Oddly, I didn't get the same answer from her - which was - "oh if I ever see dad with someone my age or even 10 or 15 years older than me, I will have words with him. That's just plain disgusting. What's he gonna do? Have more babies? Even more disgusting. I told him he needs to look in a mirror and accept who he is. You? Dating a guy the BF's age? yeah mom go for it. Men love experienced women."

Can we say double standard? Not that there's anything wrong with that. Because I wear my sunglasses to work and I am just too cool!

March 14, 2010

Sunday Snippets- watch this space for an update

Had a rather "meh" type weekend.

I am quite sure that having Rebel, her dog and her dog of a BF is taking its toll on me. We had a rather big blow out this afternoon, and she just doesn't seem to realize that home is home, but she has to respect what I want. Having her around these days is like having a bad college room mate. Remember those days? I'll be talking to the XSU this week to suggest strongly that she go live with him. And takes her little dog too. Watch this space for an update.

I am learning that being a teacher is damn hard. I already knew that, but now that I have to write exams for my class. Oy! I blew the multiple choice test I designed, and this week I'll see what I can do with the short answer quiz. Watch this space for an update.

Going to see U2 in 3D at the Imax. It's gonna be better than seeing them live. I saw a Rolling Stones concert at the Imax theatre and it was totally better than a live concert. Watch this space for an update.

I believe I successfully fought off a cold this week. I would like to believe that the echinacea I've been taking regularly, plus the mega doses of ColdFX did the trick. Watch this space for a final update.

I went into work today for a couple of hours to get my planning documents done. Also finished a five year review of my budget. I've been trying to get to that little project for the last two weeks. Got it done in under two hours. yeah me! Now my boss will get his bonus. Gotta love management. go UNION!

Watch this space for more updates. In the meantime, as a friend told me on Facebook today... gotta love the wine.
Happy Week people.

March 08, 2010

Biting the hand that feeds me.

XSU keeps sending me emails in response to emails I send him - usually concerning Rebel Junior who is off in France.
The responses to emails I send are his idea of funny bon mots, quips that I just don't find funny, In marriage days, I would have responded with a little LOL, or perhaps a BWa ha ha... but these days, I just want to send back an email with a I roll my eyes. However that would still be a reaction. And XSU is expecting a reaction.

So I do not respond to his little jokes. He's really not that funny. I forward emails to him because for whatever reason, RJ doesn't email him directly.

While I was away for the weekend, XSU sent over a food care package for Rebel. Sweet. She made dinner tonight and I was the benefit of XSU's cooking spree. So on the one hand I dis his humour while on the other hand I eat his meals. There was plenty available, and better, Rebel didn't like the vegetable salad thingy he made, which I don't think he did make. Not his style. But then again - who cares.

Same with the chili. I am pretty sure it's Farm Boy vegetarian chili to which he threw in some ground beef. But Rebel says no. WhatEV.

I get to eat his food and not laugh at his lame jokes any longer. This separation thing seems to be working for me.

March 07, 2010

Sunday Snippets

I didn't get lost once going to the Scrap and Spa location. This is a first. No wrong turns, no near misses.
ta -da!
I managed to scrap about 25 pages, and finished a little book for Frenchy. It's going to be mailed to her this week along with RJ's knee brace.

There were a couple of us who had separated from spouses. My X won the prize for " best non reason to leave a spouse due to fantasies beyond expectation!"

We had jello shots. First time for 8 of the 9 of us. Next year it's pudding shots.
All was quiet when I returned. I like a quiet house. Though I do hear Rebel's dog in her room, but I am not going to make a move to take him or anything.

March has to be spent taking the lead from my fellow blogger Aleks and continuing my own de-cluttering project and getting the rest of the crap out of the house. Luckily the main floor is decent. It's my room, the spare room and the junky part of the basement that needs the clean sweep. March is spring cleaning time so it makes sense to get a move. Given I didn't give anything up for Lent this year, I think getting the house in order is a good priority. It's not a sacrifice as per Lenten sacrifices, but I hate doing this sort of thing and I would much rather do ANYTHING than clean, tidy, shuffle stuff, so for me, it's painful. Tonight, as I watch the Oscars, one box load of crap will get shredded or removed. One corner at a time.

I am going to walk my dog. It's such a beautiful day we both need to be out in the sun shine and warm ( +10C) temps!

March 05, 2010

Drinking with Deputies

The Deputy Minister is the highest ranking official in a government department on the organization chart. The DM as they are known reports directly to the Minister, the elected politician. Unless one works in the DM's office, reports to the DM or drives his car, one rarely sees him/her.

I was at a scotch table yesterday with four of them. Two men, two women... one married couple now there's power - and one couple known as an "item." Unbelievable. To make it more interesting - one of them was the DM in my department. I didn't know him, didn't even know his name. Luckily, I managed to escape that fact being known. whew... dodged that bullet. I was siting with his wife on one side of me, another high ranking government executive across from me and a woman who ran yet another DM's office from another department. As RJ says... "randomness eh?" I ended up getting an invitation to attend a perfume launch on the Hill - Parliament Hill - for a perfume made from Afghan flowers with all proceeds going to help women in Afghanistan. I might just go!

I told them where I worked, and did my pitch for information, research and libraries in government in general Whatta a rush. Then we went on to the whiskeys. Sublime.

Here's what we ate and drank -

Century Reserved 21 yr old Canadian whisky $40 bottle
with smoked salmon on rye points and fig jam

Basil Hayden 8 year old Kentucky Bourbon straight Kentucky whisky $55 bottle
with grilled chicken skewers basted with chipotle barbecue sauce.

Yamazaki 18 yr old single malt whisky Japan $135 bottle
wild boar stew grilled herbed polenta

Isla of Jura 16 yr old single malt scotch whisky $80
date and walnut phyllo roll with Greek yogurt and honey

Glenmorangie "The Astar" Highland Single Malt Scotch whisky $125
Grana Pandano cheese

Connemara Peated Single Malt Irish Whisky $65
extra dark 60% chocolate truffle

The food was mere tastings as well. Favourites? surprisingly the Canadian whisky, the Irish was a treat, and the Jura.

I will treat myself again. I had a lovely time.

Now off I go to Scrap and Spa weekend. With jello shots made and packed! See you Sunday!

March 04, 2010

Solo whiskey drinking

I am going to a dinner tonight. All. By. Myself. A scotch tasting flight dinner at a very posh place. $85 not counting taxes and tips. It's a bunch of people around a table tasting whiskey and food. It's something I've always wanted to do.

XSU and I both drink scotch.. Though he inhales rather than sips and doesn't seem to have a palate to enjoy the flavours and aromas. He just drinks. And he would *never* spring for an event like this. Not ever.

I, on the other hand, have tasted many different kinds of scotch whiskey and want to learn more. Ergo the scotch tasting sounded like a great idea. The challenge - finding someone to go with me. Most of my friends are winos rather than hard liquor drinkers of any kind.

When a friend at work sent me the link I decided what the heck - just go for it. EEK I am going solo!
I chatted with the woman taking reservations who happens to have the same name as Rebel. She too is a nice Ukrainian girl and lo and behold her mom is going to be at this dinner.

A friend from work - a very unhappily married man said he wanted to join me. I told him fine. But I never heard whether or not he made a reservation, and frankly, having dealt with my own bad marriage I am not about to entangle myself in his issues. or either encourage or discourage his attendance. We've discussed his unhappiness many times over lunch but I am not prepared to spend my quality time with this man. If he is at this little event so be it.

So, off I go. I'll tell you how it went in another post.