Sunday Snippetts

Happy 4th of July to my legions of American readers! Hope you're all having a wonderful carefree holiday.
I love visiting your country. Nothing like Target, Nordstrom's, and really great hot dogs at the ball park to allow a girl to enjoy "foreign culture!"

I have a cold and feel miserable today. I am sure I'll get over it. The coughing and stuffed nose are more than I can put up with on a hot hot day, So I am watching this bizarre Christopher Walking Brendan Fraser movie about a family that lived in some kind of bunker because they thought there was some nuclear blast. Brendan Fraser comes out of the bunker at age 35 and hits the modern world ... very back to the future but not as good.

Had a good day with Rebel Junior and two of her friends at the beach yesterday. Went up to the church camp and have to admit that knowing my camp cooking days are done made me more than a little wistful. The memories of all the kids and parents hanging out playing capture the flag, having the crazy Olympics and great bonfires brought the point home - the kids are growing up. We gave them some great memories and I am happy about that. It doesn't look like anyone is taking over camp from us. No one stepped up so no camp this year. sigh... I really loved camp. There is talk of getting together for a reunion weekend - will see if we can arrange something this summer.

Rebel has moved most of her stuff to the Loser BF's place - some where on the other side of the river. We dropped her off yesterday on the way to the lake but she wouldn't let me take her to the door. Seriously. I don't know where she lives. Not sure how long this will last.

The Loser BF came by on Friday evening to pick up some stuff from the garage. I asked him when the car would leave my garage - not his mustang but another car he bought and then did nothing about it. I reminded him that he told me a month ago it would be gone in a week, and it's still taking up space. I told him he had a few more days before I had it towed to his father's house. HA! That set him off. I think he muttered something about being psycho....

XSU is off to visit his family for 6 weeks and leaving his house unattended. I am hoping that RJ has a key and plans to party there when she's claiming she 's sleeping over at a friends. Apparently RJ is being flown to meet him there when she's done summer school, but as usual, I have no details. I will have to get on his case tomorrow to find out what his plans are. I am not sure he actually has plans.

I am off to go get a Neo Citran and more orange juice and ColdFX.
Whew it's hot outside.

Living through a lot but yet not enough.

I bought a desk for the basement but it's not down there yet because I need to have some furniture come out of there. A couch and a futon frame. Rebel's BF kept telling me he'd do it, and then never did. What else is new - so I have to find some guys to give me a hand.

I was all set to take the girls out for dinner this evening. RJ deigned to come by to pick some stuff up from the house and I haven't done much grocery shopping because Rebel doesn't eat much of what I cook, so I buy in small quantities.

So as we were getting ready to go out for dinner I am standing beside the desk that should be in the basement but it's in my living room and Rebel pushed me out of the way - no sorry, no excuse me, nothing - and goes on about how I need to stay out of her way if we're going to leave the house. And why was the desk in the front room and on she went. As she talked and was ruder and ruder I decided WTF? and I am going to pay for dinner out?!

And I asked the question - "so why would I pay for dinner out after listening to this?" And on and on she went and ya know.. and you do know because y'all keep telling me, the girl has no respect or regard for me at all. None. And RJ started in sort of but even she isn't keen on this. I told RJ I'd take her back to her dad's place and we'd go for dinner another time. I don't have to put up with the stuff being thrown at me. It's not right. I am so tired of the disrespect and regard for MY feelings that I just decided FORGET it! RJ too made a crack about why she is staying at her dad's - the tension between the one who wants to be an adult but acts like a spoiled 14 year old and the mother is too wearing on her. I can't say I blame her frankly, even if she has princess tendencies.

I came back from driving RJ to the XSU's house and Rebel had the gall to ask me to use my car again. I told her that I get anxious when she takes my car on a week night and isn't back until late. I wanted her to be home before midnight.

Her response - "I 'm 22 years old, I am an adult and I shouldn't have to be coming home at your convenience as if I had a curfew so take an ativan and leave me alone."

Again, I asked her - very politely I think - no yelling on my part for a change - to look at it from my perspective - it's my car which I am allowing her to use; I don't sleep well during the week when she is out in my car and I believe there needs to be some regard for what I want. Her response was she deserved respect and until I gave her respect-forget it. She does not get it. at all.

I kept the car keys and told her to have her BF come and pick her up to move her stuff to his place. That should be entertaining - apparently he's downgraded his ride from the '96 Mustang to a Canadian Tire special bicycle so unless it's a bike built for two with a big basket on the handles bars, I won't be seeing a lot of action that way.

So of course the place has the tranquility of a war zone for now but I can't keep backing down. Her rude nasty tone is shocking to me as her mother. I have not ever played the "who was there for you at the hospital every freaking day you were there" card, because I know she knows. Guilt isn't going to do it. Not going to go there even if her BF continues that line.

Nope, she will now become dependent on her BF - for whatever good that does. She will leave and take her yappy dog with her and perhaps I will finally get some peace. I will also change the locks on the door when she does go because I can't have her coming in here when I am not around. That just won't be on.

Yes, she did get through a horrible time, but damn it so did I! I lived through it right with her and then had to deal with all the crap with her idiot BF AND the XSU at the same time. And really, that's none of her business and she won't get that until she is older. Much older. Until she does, I guess we're not going to be very mother daughter-ish.

sigh..... it's come to this. Not happy - but as her mother, I am not handing out the respect card until it's earned. This 22 year old , has lived through a lot. But apparently it's still not enough for her to understand what's really important and get over her selfishness.

Clean sweep

I have been remiss in getting to the church for nearly a year now. After XSU finally left I found that by the time Sundays rolled around I just didn't want to leave the house for the 40 minute drive to the one Ukrainian Catholic church in the city. I'd end up at the Roman church five minutes away and it was all right, but not really doing it for me. And yet the struggle to get out the door on Sunday was just too much. One liturgy at 11:30 AM meant I wasn't home until nearly 1:30 or 2 PM depending on coffee hour, council chat.

I am thinking it's time to get back to basics and remember why I need to be there - lousy pastor, long drive notwithstanding. The pastor is so not good with people that at times it's all bit formulaic. However the friends and community there are ever so supportive and were wonderful during Rebel's illness and hospital stay. I found my own rhythm in that and found the need for spiritual guidance to be critical in my sanity and her health.

Then there is the deal with my two very independent daughters who insist on doing things their own way - we parents pay for teaching independence - I need to let them go and figure it out for themselves. Yet, I need to hang around for when when they rebound back.

Rebel is seriously annoyed with me when I finally booted her BF out for good this week. For some reason I am being seen as the intolerant one even though this "man" has been freeloading for the last 6 months. Full freeloading time in the last three years is probably closer to 18 months. When I suggested to him that he didn't even supply his own toothpaste, shampoo or laundry soap any time he spent all I heard back was "I fixed your car, I clean your house." sigh... In the end Rebel has decided I am the enemy and she is going to try and live with him. Again. XSU and I have had a couple of emails going back and forth on this one. He's even way more upset about this than I am. Not sure how he plans to handle it - Could he perhaps pul-eeeease tell her she is welcome to live at his place?

Then there's Rebel Junior, who called me today asking me to turn her phone back on because she was going to a party and needed to make calls. When I suggested that most houses did still have land lines I could hear the panic in her voice and the quick sucking in of breath.
"No one goes to people's houses and use their house phones!" she hissed at me.
"Well, I guess you can start a new trend," I told her.
She then told me that "next time" she was not going to clean my house!

First of all, what is it with this crew and their house cleaning fixations? I for one, am not too concerned, so why are they all worried about cleaning my house? I don't think it's THAT bad, well, except my bedroom and spare room, which no one has to see if they're on the main floor. These people have to relax a little bit. I know I certainly have!

I had to remind RJ that the only reason she was "cleaning" was because she was busy lying to me and her father about throwing yet another party in my absence and frankly, if there was any cleaning to be done, perhaps a better job of post party cleaning would have meant I could have been fooled and she'd still have access to her precious blackberry texting capabilities.

She told me to have a nice weekend and then hung up the land line at her father's place.

I think I'll go clean my house now, since all the volunteers have up and absconded. Clean and quiet. I think I'll like that as I contemplate my Sunday activities.

It's hot outside. Like seriously summer hot. But the new furnace kicked in and the old air conditioner seem to be working in tandem. I say a quiet thank you. But it's still a bit of a problem as the 2nd story is never as cool as the main floor and the basement is freezing. I have shut the registers on the main floor and hope to divert the air through the vents up to the second floor. I am not sure that the furnace fan is running as it should. This high efficiency thing might be so efficient it just quietly blows the air in and up without a lot of noise but the air coming through the vents is about as strong as a 90 year old blowing out birthday candles.

The ceiling fan is running. in the stair well to the second floor. I can never remember which direction it should be turning - clock or counter clockwise. Being the savvy researcher I am, you'd think I'd be able to do the search and figure this one out. I'm not there yet.

I am ensconced in the new recliner with a blanket on me in the basement watching General Hospital and surfing the web. I have already put the chicken into the fridge to marinate, made a fruit salad and done three loads of laundry. That's all the domesticity I can manage. Now I do need to get back upstairs and continue the de cluttering. I bought myself a recliner for my bedroom and I must absolutely get the crap out of my room so that the recliner looks nice up there. I can't have moving guys saying stuff like " lady? are you for real? you want us to put the chair where?"

Rebel's BF cleaned my house yesterday by vacuuming and getting the basement floor cleaned. I said thanks. I mean why not. He did a couple of other things around the house but only after he asked me. This has been the thing that annoyed me - he does stuff and does not ask. That really bugs me. It reminds me too much of XSU's behavior. I told Rebel this and made it clear that in MY house it would be done MY way. She of course doesn't get my point and probably won't until she actually has her own place.

Rebel's BF claimed he would clean my windows today. He brought his stuff and left it in the garage and sure enough today - he' never turned up. No surprise. Same ole behaviour . Something always comes up. Good thing I don't have any expectations of this man.

And I was told he has applied for a job here in town. Can you see me hitting my head on my screen? WHY won't he leave? Why? Why can't he just hop into his little 1996 Mustang and drive off into the sunset and disappear for a while?

It's a plot of some sorts I am quite sure of this. For some reason I must have annoyed the gods who send boyfriends to daughters and I need to find something to appease them. What would that be? If you know please do tell me so I can make my moves.

Go to your room!

I don't know WHY I am so pissed off, but I am. I came home today and my lawn was cut. I THOUGHT it was the girl I hired to cut my lawn but indeed it wasn't. It was the Rebel's BF. And right away, Rebel came out and told me to "please go and thank my BF - he cut your lawn. " And I was pissed off.

I told her - I've hired someone to cut my lawn for the season and I don't NEED your BF to be doing me any favours.

This is not the first time he's gone and done something that made me burn. While I was out of town, he took my car and "fixed" something that was wrong with it. So he says. Ford still charged me a cool 1K when I took it in for a service job.

Perhaps I am being irrational. Perhaps not. What seriously ticked me was Rebel who kept saying to me, 'You should thank my BF, you should thank him for doing this for you."

I DIDN'T ask him to cut my lawn. I do NOT want him cutting my lawn, or doing any thing else for me. If he wants to do something I want to be asked in advance. And then I will more than likely say no, because, frankly, it's far too late in this relationship to get into my good graces. I am not interested in his help.

I think my total negative reaction is partly because this young man in personality is a lot like the XSU. That need for recognition - that need to told how wonderful he is. And that underlying attitude that I - as a woman - couldn't possibly manage my little head with things like lawn mowers and cars. It's that attitude of superiority I got from XSU on occasion that sneaks out of the Rebel's BF. I don't like it, and I really don't want to put up with it - from anyone.

THEN I walked into the house and there were 6 bags of groceries on the kitchen floor. Apparently the girls aren't happy with the groceries I buy - so they managed to get their dad to buy stuff. They rarely add items to the running grocery list I keep on the fridge so I get what I get. I left the groceries on the floor and hoped at least one of the two dogs got into the bags. That made me feel a little better.

So I have locked myself in my room. No entrance allowed. My girls do this when they are annoyed, or just generally want to annoy me. I thought I'd try it. They most certainly are not impressed with me. Totally not impressed. And there 's the thing. I haven't had any dinner and I am starving. So isolating myself isn't working very well at the moment. Do I go back down stairs, miss Glee and find some food? Do I get in my car and find some kind of tolerable fast food - if there is such a thing and spend money I'd rather not spend?

Daughter drama. Idiot boy friends trying to get into my good graces in the worst possible way. And - a grumbling stomach. No worries, though the crankiness ends soon.

You don't eat perogies you may as well walk away!

Let me count the ways I really can NOT stand the daughter's boyfriend. I mean, I *really* can NOT stand the guy. He's ten years older than her, but has the mentality of a dorky retreaded 14 year old teen. No, wait, that's insulting to all the 14 year old dorky boys out there. At least the 14 year old dorky retreaded boys I know ALL LOVE perogies!

Rebel's BF on the other hand, won't even try and take a taste of a perogy. Seriously, a perogy. A bland potato cheese filled perogy. He's eaten ravioli, he'll eat mashed potatoes, ( without gravy) but he REFUSES to try a perogy. And THIS Ukrainian Canadian mother is NOT impressed. Not at all! How inoffensive is a perogy?!

Yeah, I have friends who don't like them, Nova Scotians mostly, who find perogies bland - I don't get it, but that's okay. They've tried them. My nephew eats them fried with soy sauce, and the XSU taught the girls to eat them with ketchup. sigh.... But this guy... this developmentally delayed 31 year old my daughter insists she loves, won't eat one single perogy in any way shape or form.

Related to the perogy is the eggroll.. a Chinese perogy! We were out for Chinese food for Rebel's birthday and he took one bite out of an egg roll and proceeded to spit it out! He wouldn't eat and swallow the bite he took out of an innocuous ersatz Chinese eggroll. I might add he also spit out three other bites of food he took and didn't like.

I am compelled to ask, if he won't even take a taste of a perogy, what the hell else is wrong with him?

Easter Sunday Post Mortem & Easter Monday rabble rousing

I am feeling very superior today. I am NUMBER ONE! on the Bejeweled Leader Board in my circle of Facebook friends. I am 3,000 points shy of 400,000! The next nearest friend is at 301,760. For a very short time I will RULE. Then Tuesday - we start all over again. Bragging rights til then.

We had a lovely day yesterday. Rebel and I were at a friend's for Easter brunch. For once, I had a designated driver and was able to imbibe in the sparkling chardonnay with impunity. Yes. I lushed it. On Easter Sunday. It was a lovely way to spend mid day.

It was an all girl brunch. Veronica also invited another friend and daughter. This daughter works as a social worker, something our Rebel is interested in and the daughter was most encouraging and helpful in talking about her work and education with Rebel. Fantastic. She talked most positively about her career choice and why she loved it. Rebel listened quite intently.

During the evening, the BF showed up. Apparently he drank too much somewhere and Rebel didn't want him driving. He stayed the night and was supposed to be up for work this morning. I heard the alarm go off but I didn't hear him leave. Roll eyes. And at 2 PM when I returned from running errands, he was STILL in the house. WTF?! Like a bad penny that lad keeps turning up. Rebel has school today and left and the BF trailed out as well. He knows better than to remain in my presence. I really am quite the Witch with a BEE around that man. It just seems to come naturally - Easter good will feelings notwithstanding. But he pulled a fast one. Again.

Even though BF told Rebel the shop was closed and he didn't have to work, I thought I'd check out that story. I called the shop - after dialing *67 to block my number - no surprise no. 1 - They were open. I asked to speak with the BF and was told he wasn't in. I asked if he had been expected in and no surprise no. 2 - of course he was expected to work! The lad is gonna get his ass kicked - by the boss and by the Rebel.

Now, how to relay the lie to the girl without getting myself hurt in the process given the ole shoot the messenger problem?

Simple - I called XSU - told him the story. Let her shoot him instead.

Sunday Snippets

Three days until Rebel Junior is off to France. Packing commences today. We got a nifty suitcase - expandable, on wheels and looks like a big carry on bag instead of a suitcase. Borrowed it from a one of my coop students at work.

Now that I've read Julie and Julia, but haven't seen the movie yet, I might just have to get my mom's copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking, look up "beef" and see what I can do with it. May be once or twice a week, in my spare time.

I have one day to scrap book a little photo album for RJ to take to France for Frenchy. 40 photos shouldn't take long.


Both girls dumped a whole whack of clothes in the spare bedroom. I went "psycho" according to Rebel, and took all the clothes, put them into 4! count'em FOUR garbage bags and dumped them into the trunk of my car. There were a whole pile of socks, and never worn stuff in there that belongs to Rebel's BF. oh well. They will end up at the ST. Vincent de Paul Society.

I stopped taking my stuff to the Diabetes Association, because they sell their stuff to Value Village which is owned by WAL MART!!! I try to avoid Wal Mart- except for the $175 I spent there yesterday buying cleaning crap, and stuff like that. I went in to pick up the $6 worth of photos for the above mentioned scrapbook.

Will be writing my first test for my students this week. There's some stress. I've never written tests before. Better make sure it's fair and understandable.

There seem to be some good furniture sales and I was going to buy a recliner for myself for the basement, but decided I will look for a chaise lounger for my bedroom instead. Selfish? Indeed. I want and need somewhere to rest my weary spirit when I want to escape and Calgon isn't cutting it.

I hear there is a football game today? I'll be catching missed episodes of Modern Family instead.