You know when....
1. The big garbage bag corporate logo is “TUFF” the bag ain’t. sigh....
2. He says he’ll be ready to pick the offspring up at 5 PM it really means 5:40 PM
3. The other offspring says she’ll have the car back in an hour it’s merely a window for between 2-5 hours.
4. The either offspring asks do you have any money, it really means I’ll take $20++.
5. The offspring does take the car and it was full of gas it will only be replaced by half – if that.
6. He says he’ll curb the spending on the younger one, it means he’ll buy her the $90 pair of shoes instead of the $160 ones that she thinks she deserves.
7. She says she isn’t hungry it means she’s just too lazy to come downstairs and sit at the table, but if you take a plate up or down – it’s hoovered.
8. You show up at work and you’re the first to arrive and it’s 9:15 AM it’s not a good sign.
9. Any light goes on in the car on the dash panel, brakes, oil, battery, it means a $1000 bill.
10. There is even so much as a hint of snow falling during morning rush hour it means an exponential delay of getting to work by at least 30 minutes for every .5 inch of snow.
11. There is any amount of chocolate milk in the fridge it will disappear within 30 seconds of leaving the grocery bag and being put into the fridge.
12. Someone- offspring-like asks “are you doing anything tonight?” they either want the car, a drive or both. And Further more are shocked, annoyed or both if you answer yes to the first and no to anything else.
13. Your offspring wants to have a house full of friends because she is madly cleaning the house – something that has only happened when there is a blue moon in the sky.
