Moving on .

I've been blogging for a few years now. Sometimes sporadically sometimes daily, but almost regularly. I have finally separated from XSU and starting to live a new life on my own. The original blog helped me get through the painful process of the end of the marriage, along with some bumpy roads dealing with a critically ill child in the midst of the end of marriage mess. Now this blog will see me through the new paths and adventures that life has to offer. Restructuring my life. My way. My experiences, ventings, musings on that whole big and not so big deal.

December 02, 2009

Happily Not Unmarried!

My team and I at work went out for lunch yesterday.  Thai – very yummy – a little too spicy for me, but… oh wait… I am digressing again.

During the meal one of my coop students asked me during the course of a conversation whether or not I’d get remarried.

First of all, I never officially discussed my marriage, separation or other personal woes with the team.  None of their business, I barely missed work, and after all the stuff they dealt with during Rebel’s trials, I didn’t subject them to more of my drama.

Secondly, some of them were in the picture – those who must be well connected with people I do talk to – and good on them, however my full timers knew nothing.  THAT was interesting.

I kept that pretty low key and didn’t delve into any details except to say that indeed my marriage broke down and I was now separated.  My one loyal employee asked about the girls, I responded and left it at that.   Okay, she brushes her hands off and says, done with that bit of news and now let’s move on.

Oh!  The original question.  Remarry?  Honey, I am not even UN-married yet never mind thinking about tying that particular knot again.   And then there is the entire annulment process to get through, so the thought of going down THAT road again is certainly not on my radar.   The question came from a lovely student, one who is a little older than most.  She has to be in her late 30s maybe early 40s.  Never married from what I do know about her, but went through a fairly serious relationship and break up a few years ago.

Apparently she has been seeing someone – someone that I do know is not an entirely trustworthy or appropriate individual.  This I do know for a fact.  She is not facing up to the realities of this person and repercussions of the being with him because she needs to be with someone so badly.  It’s a bad scene all way around.

The point being – I don’t particularly want to be married again, I don’t think  For now anyway. Although having seen the difference on pension splitting and the financial side of marriage in old age, I might be persuaded.

However, I also think a companion a la Jackie Kennedy style would be nice – and not that Greek style either, more than man she was with when she died. They each had their own homes, and spent time together and time apart, took vacations and spent holidays together. I kinda like that idea.

Right now though, I am enjoying myself and my time on my own. I don’t want to be one of those women with that hungry look every time a potential companion hits the room.  Unless of course he’s a lanky 35 yr old healthy specimen – then it’s cougar time and all bets are off.   But until then I’ll remain not unmarried, happily separated cocooning in my little space enjoying the life and blessings I have.


Anonymous said...

I think that happily separated and cocooning is a good place to be. Somehow the stress of no longer living with NuTcAsEs makes life so much nicer.

love and hugs,
~ b

Lily on the Road said...

One day at a in many things, you do what you must and live with what doesn't get done for the moment. On your OWN time...