Moving on .

I've been blogging for a few years now. Sometimes sporadically sometimes daily, but almost regularly. I have finally separated from XSU and starting to live a new life on my own. The original blog helped me get through the painful process of the end of the marriage, along with some bumpy roads dealing with a critically ill child in the midst of the end of marriage mess. Now this blog will see me through the new paths and adventures that life has to offer. Restructuring my life. My way. My experiences, ventings, musings on that whole big and not so big deal.

October 01, 2010

Cranky Friday I hate excercise rant!

It's Friday at last! Just read an interesting article in today's newspaper that talked about a study in heart break. yep. heart break. I'll see if I can do the study justice.

It was described as a study that looked at heart rate and the connection between people who you think like you and learning what happens when they don't like you. People were connected to heart monitors. When those being studied learned that a person didn't like them, and they thought that they were liked, well, their hearts slowed down for several seconds.
So what this means is this - If you think that you are loved and you learn that instead, you are not loved at all, then your heart rate changes and it can be dramatic and have a health effect.

My experience has been with my stomach not my heart. When XSU first hit me long ago with the "I'm not feeling it" thing it felt more like a blow to the gut - like the wind was knocked out me rather than my heart pounding. Maybe it was both, but it was the hit to the stomach that I felt. And that feeling lasted for weeks - probably months. I didn't eat much at all. In fact I remember Lily coming over and force feeding me a can of Campbell's chicken noodle soup.

Once I started eating a little I have to admit my clothes looked great on me. I wasn't looking like a chemo victim any longer - I see pictures of myself and wonder if that was looking good, or if I was too thin.

Now, I look longingly at two pairs of jeans, two suits, a dress and a couple of other things that don't fit, because CLEARLY that angst has disappeared. I have thunder thighs! My eating habits are pretty good. We don't eat white anything, no food from boxes, lots of vegetables and fruits, all that blah blah nutrition stuff, but

Imust admit - I hate most forms of exercise.

I have no use for running, biking, skating, swimming, playing any sport that involves any kind of equipment from a ball to a stick including netted sticks. Have I missed anything? oh yeah - the gym. really hate the spandex clad skinny 20 something girls, the muscle bound wanna bes trying to catch the skinny girls, the spinning mad people, and the crazy dance people.

That along with the fact that I am going through that midlife women's change thing, means I must get up off my ass before I go up another trouser size. It's troubling. So perhaps I need to fall in love again, so I can break up again, and not eat for awhile. Or I can do the sensible thing and start finding some sort of activity that will take the jiggle out of the thighs and I can feel comfortable in my size 8s again.

rant done. Happy Friday.

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