Hello Good bye to the red cars.

Good Bye Taurus.............. Hello Hyundai.... singing a Sonata.......
The first car I ever bought on my own A brand new car with only 27 kilometres on it. I negotiated, researched, shopped, and decided ON. MY. OWN. I will be inhaling new car smell for the next year. Oh, and please take your shoes and boots off before getting in would you?


I would have loved the Genesis Coupe, but really, after two test drives, the turbo charged speediness of it and lightweight ride wasn't comfortable for me. And the sedan is way too rich for my blood.
Too bad. And the Mustang. Still a gas guzzler. I'll rent one once in a while and get that out of my system. I now don't have to get into a car and panic in case I forgot my phone. This car isn't going to need oil every time I fuel up, and it probably won't cost me $50 a week to run either. Ahhhh relief.

Bye bye Taurus. 1999 was a good year. 247,000 kilometres later.... you're definitely ready for the wreaking ball.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday Tales: In which Kate and Karl have a fight... of sorts.

"Hon," reasoned Kate, as she made herself a cup of her favourite mojito tea "you've been invited by your own daughter to your granddaughter's confirmation, you have to go!"

Karl, at his most stubborn replied, "No, I don't! I don't go to church, I don't believe in it, I do not have to go."
"This isn't about you Karl," retorted an exasperated Kate, "it's about your granddaughter taking part in something that is important to her and her mother."

Kate believed she and Karl were having their first fight. A full year had gone by since they had started seeing each other and here they were arguing about religion of all things. Kate was well aware of Karl's views on organized religion and for the most part wasn't too concerned. As Karl had put it to her, "we won't be raising children together so our relationship isn't a show stopper." And for the most part, Kate was okay with that. She was a church goer even if in the past few years it wasn't as obvious. "But this," thought Kate, "is nonsense. This man is being stupidly stubborn."

It was just at this point as Kate was standing quietly in the corner of Karl's kitchen figuring out where to go in this discussion, when Karl asked, " are we having a fight? Because if we are, it's not going to end well, and that scares me."

Karl was very worried. He wanted no part of churches and the nonsense that went on in them. He also knew that Kate was a practicing Catholic who would seek an annulment of her marriage after her civil divorce was finalized. It was important to her. His daughter also knew that he wanted no part of her family's "churchy stuff" as he called it. He loved his daughter, he adored his granddaughter and he dearly loved Kate. What was a non believer to do? He had his principles and his own beliefs or lack of them really that needed to be upheld.

With a sigh, Kate raised her voice a tad, something she'd never done with Karl before, "Yes Karl we ARE having a fight, because you're taking your non believing to a religious fervour, as ironic as that might sound. Really, a little girl just wants her grandpa at her confirmation. Sit at the back of the church, don't participate and smile when the priest says a few words over her head and be done with it! WHAT is the big effing deal?" At the end of that tirade Kate's voice was nearly at fever pitch.

"This is why I don't like religion," Karl pushed back, " it makes people crazy and cranky and they start raising their voices."

Kate took a deep breath, got her voice and her control and gently wrapped her arms around Karl's neck," Hon, I love you, but your fear of church, and it is a fear, not a non belief, is irrational. So, if you ever want to see me naked in your bed again, think through why you won't make your 1o year old grand daughter happy by showing up at her event at church, okay."

"That's extortion!" exclaimed Karl.
"Indeed!" replied Kate "and I have the evil grin to go with it too."

"I'll think about it", a defeated Karl answered, " I won't be thrilled with going, but if it makes you and the two other important girls in my life happy, then I'll think about it."

"She would cut me off too," thought Karl, " without even thinking about it, so I'm not about to give up the best sex I've ever had in my entire life on principle.

Kate also breathed out a very quiet sigh of relief. She was thought, "oh thanks be to the gods - it would kill me to have to give up the best sex of my life because of this man's paranoia about churches."

Kate was sure she'd have to have a chat some other day with Karl about what she believed was his fear of churches and faith rather than his belief in non belief.

I think we just made up shall we take this upstairs and get it done right``
Karl smile, took Kate by the hand and led her up to their favourite room.

Tuesday Tales: In Which Kate spends time alone

Kate was home after work and as usual she called Karl to have a chat. As the phone rang she knew it would end up going to his voice mail, and only then did she remember that he was going out for dinner with friends from his work days. They gathered every couple of months or so to catch up on each other's lives, and tonight was the night.


Kate sighed. She hadn't seen Karl for a couple of days. Sunday night was family dinner night with her girls and their current significant others, and it was her family only for now. Monday evening was a cooking night for a potluck at work on Tuesday, and here she was Tuesday night, eager to see her love, and he was out at dinner without her.


While she carried on as if she was longing for Karl, the fact of the matter was that Kate was not pining at all. She was more than happy to know that Karl had his own friends and a healthy social life that wasn't tied to hers. The reality was that they had managed to meet more of his friends than hers at this stage, almost a year into their relationship. This had been one of Kate's stipulations on her "must have" list as she was making her way through the end of her marriage and spent time thinking about the kind of man she hoped to meet 'someday.'


It continued to surprise her that Karl was her near ideal match- he had friends, he had his own interests, he could make conversation and he enjoyed meeting new people. He understood the code of the cocktail party, and liked it! And as a lover, she couldn't ask for a more caring, generous man. In spite of some of his health issues, which were well monitored and taken care of, Karl knew what to do, and how to do it. He sent Kate into ecstasy.


Kate sighed, picked up her book and tea and went up to her room to read. She knew Karl wouldn't be late and that he'd phone her at bedtime for a good night chat. "It doesn't get better than this," thought Kate, "it just doesn't get better." She settled into her chair, quite content, for a cozy evening on her own.

Bring on the Holidays

Ahhh a week away from home all alone on the road. I've been to union meetings and have enjoyed the time on my own. RJ has been *home alone* and I have been texting her daily to ensure she is alive and well. She doesn't like being alone, but the little dog is there with her and The Beau is up the street even if she doesn't acknowledge his presence much.


I've been sending The Beau emails and he's been responding, but I do miss our daily chats. So this evening, instead of heading straight home, I'll be spending the night at his place and heading home on Saturday instead. A little snuggle time as well as decompression rather than heading straight home to whatever mess awaits me. RJ still isn't good enough at keeping the place tidied and I'm stymied as to how to deal with it.


The holiday preparation time is upon me and I've got a note for December 1 to pick up some new tree lights and tinsel for the tree instead of waiting until Dec2 20th when things are terribly picked over and when we usually trim the tree. I am not sure what we'll be doing for the holidays this year. There had been talking of heading home west, but the $2000 price tag for three of us to fly kills me. So we'll stay put. XSU is heading east and I am not sure if the girls want to go with him or not. I truly don't mind if they do. The Beau has told me we can spend Christmas with his family, but the girls are not keen. I don't mind that either.


We Beau and I - have a bunch of social engagements. Wow. We've already had two parties to go to, and have about three or four more. This part of being a couple has been more than fun. I'm enjoying it. Interestingly, I've been hanging out a lot with the neighbours, something I haven't had much chance to do in the past given XSU's non social temperament. More restructuring experiences. All good.


This social thing has taken some getting used to surprisingly. Being part of a real couple is still kinda new, and of course social engagements are part of the deal. I like it, and in fact I am reveling in it.


I have to plan my own big open house party, but I've decided it will wait until the February blues time, because, right now, I am just too busy!

Wordless Wednesday

13 on Thursday

13 Things in restructuring, thinking, or doing

1. Being invited to more parties since leaving the XSU behind!

2. Being with someone new means going to twice as many parties this year.

3. Having to carve out time for myself and not being together 24/7, but this is difficult

4. Understanding that living together would really cut expenses almost in half: newspapers, cable, internet, snow ploughing services, lawn cutting services, divided instead of multiplied by 2

5.Understanding that living together means I have to share my space. Not sure yet.

6. Understanding that waking up with someone every morning who wants to be there and make the coffee is not to be scoffed at.

7. Even though the offspring want you to have someone in your life, they are still not completely 100% sure it is something they like.

8. Making travel plans with someone is fun.

9.I still prefer shopping by myself - for anything - groceries, clothes, shoes whatever. I will go myself.

10. I have better taste in movies – seriously Night of the Living Dead – of any iteration is not great cinema.

11. He thinks he has better taste in cars. He is certainly more knowledgeable, but yellow cars still suck in my opinion.

12. He shares the remote control. I get the Food Network almost any time I want.

13.Being loved, adored and cherished is a gift.

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday Tales: In which Kate is without Karl & the girlfriends plan a grilling.

Kate was spending the weekend alone. Karl was off with a group of his friends on a road trip to a Steelers game in Cinncinati. While she was enjoying her time alone and finally catching up with several friends Kate realized that life was changing for her. There used to be a time when she was home alone a lot, or conversely frantically keeping busy with board meetings, dinners out or visiting friends. Since she and Karl had become an item, Kate enjoyed having a man around and she was missing him now that he was out of town. This was the first time in months that they were not speaking to each other on a daily basis. Karl's refusal to get even cheap cell phone meant that there was radio silence between them. A cute kind of quirky thing of Karl's meant no contact.


During her marriage Kate and her husband rarely did things together and she was used to being a solo act, but lying in bed on Saturday evening, Kate thought, "I miss him. I really miss him. This is new." Kate realized that she was learning how to be part of a couple again, and now that she was paired up again, it meant something when Karl wasn't there to talk with and share moments.



"Three nights without contact, and I am going a little squirrely," thought Kate as she sat at her dining room table sorting through photographs. "I love that I have time to get through these pictures, but frankly, I'd rather be with Karl having a sip of scotch and watching a movie."


Kate's good friend Vania was over for dinner on Sunday evening and complained," I came over for dinner expecting to finally meet your Karl and you tell me he's at some football game in Cincinnati? Well, when am I going to meet this man?" To say she was disappointed would not be inaccurate. And indeed Kate had to find a way to introduce Karl to her dearest women friends, many of whom were busy single women. She and Vania sat over dinner plotting ways to introduce Karl to "the girls" "Just line him up at the front of the living room, and we'll grill him! " laughed Vania. She was only half kidding.


Vania and Kate's friend Lily had been there from the get-go when her Ex, who shall remain without a name, started the ball on the news that he wanted out of their marriage. Vania was glad Kate finally accepted the separation. Her Ex was not a happy man, nor was he Kate's type at all. She and Lily could never understand what it was that attracted Kate to this rude, condescending man. She would grill Karl all right, because as she and Lily had discussed endlessly, Kate had dealt with enough and deserved better. It seemed that Karl might be "the one" but not officially until the grilling session had taken place.

He'd better be ready for them.

Remembrance Day 11-11-11

One gets better and one is ended.... again.

This restructuring thing seems to be going very well. I'm learning how to be in a relationship again where everything seems to be normal. yeah normal. A man with a good sense of self who, I hafta tell ya is just wonderful to be with. We spend time together and never seem to tire of being together. Although I still like coming home to my own bed as much as I enjoy the occasional sleep over. It's all good. And it will be a year since our first date at the end of November. On that first date I managed to down four Tanqeray 10 martinis, and I've not accomplished that feat since then. FOUR! Martinis?:!?! WHO does that?


This just in - Rebel has broken up with the Loser Boyfriend. Again. I think it might stick this time. She has been cheating on him with an old friend. She says nothing has happened yet, but I think she's been looking for a reason to dump him. I'm lighting candles at church hoping the break up sticks this time. For good.


Rebel Junior has been busy at university. She seems to be enjoying her classes and working and reading all the time. I would appreciate her picking up after herself and for some reason, nothing sticks on that front. I am frustrated still and don't have a clue what to do with her.


The Beau and I spend a fair bit of time together and have been talking of living together. oy! We're only ten houses apart, but there are some nights when it would be nice to just head to bed together instead of one of us going home . But, his cats, my dog, my daughter at home, his hobby that takes a fair bit of space, plus deciding what to keep from two house one of which had a mom who is gone forever. NOT an easy one. How ever status quo doesn't seem to work for us either. No doubt, things will come together as they are supposed to. Life is short. We're enjoying each other and seem to be smitten.

Tuesday Tales: InWhich Kate & Karl go to a hotel..... again.

Kate was off on business once again. This time however, her meetings were in town and she was offered a hotel room since the rest of the sales force was coming in from out of town. Back in the days of being a wife and mother Kate would have turned down the hotel and headed home every evening. Her children were young and liked to have mom around, and her husband wasn’t very organized and didn’t do a great job feeding and managing their home and family.

Things were different now though. Lara was married off and Mariella was in university and the father of her children had his own home. . Just the way Kate liked it. The best part of her relationship with Karl was the he enjoyed coming with her when she traveled on business. He would go off and do his own bit of sightseeing and museum hunting and beer testing during the day and they`d meet in the evening, have dinner together and then watch tv in bed. Or not watch tv in bed.

`Karl, I’m getting another hotel! This time right here in town. Are you going to join me?” asked Kate that evening when Karl came over for dinner.

“Try and stop me darling. It seems we have our best dates at hotels, “ mused Karl.

The two of them put their heads together and as they thought aloud about their hotel dates, and summer cottage visits there had to have been at least one a month almost from the time they started dating.

“Nine great getaways” exclaimed Karl. “Three at cottages or with friends that allowed for an impressive amount of privacy I might add.”

“There is something to be said for the getaway when you’re getting to know someone,” thought Kate as she dished out the beef bourguignon into her special stew and pasta bowls. “It’s not like living together, nor is it like the one-off sleep over. The hotel get away gives you that little look into how someone just is. It can be heaven or hell on wheels. A real eye opener. I am so fortunate” sighed Kate, “that with Karl the hotel dates keep getting better and better. From that perspective, it makes me think that we could probably have a life together.”

And with that thought Kate sat down at the table with Karl and they started to plan their tenth hotel getaway.

13 on Thursday

13 Ways to Not agree to a proposal..... just yet

1. No not ready to get married again.
2. I said, no, not yet.
3. Not today darlin
4. Ummmmm I have to wash my hair
5. This week? I couldn't possibly be ready
6. I don't have a dress
7. See # 3 - again
8. I couldn't get married without my best friend being there and she's busy this week
9. Not in a month that has an R in it. Or is that just for lobster?
10. See #1 - again.
11. well... maybe, but not yet
12. where would we live?
13. eventually, but ... see #3

wordless wednesday

Tuesday Tale: In which Kate & Karl enjoy their dance moves

Kate and Karl were drinking a wee dram of single malt, in bed, one Sunday evening and they came to the realization that they had been spending a fair bit of time dancing together at a variety of business and family functions.

“We dance well together, Kate” stated Karl after he took a sip of the lovely 21 year old malt they were enjoying.

“Yeah, we do, but Karl, your polka needs some work,” joked Kate. Her eastern European heritage always came out during festive events where the 1-2-3 polka beats made her feel young again. This last time though she had a hard time with the platform stilettos she stole from her daughter for the occasion but crashed along in style dancing with anyone who loved to polka with her!

“Well, I’m not too old to learn,” said Karl, “and it might take me a few months, but holding you close while I jump around is worth the effort. It’s kind of like our horizontal dances,” he winked at her.

Kate spewed her malt, lamenting the waste.

“Karl! You make me laugh. You’ll try anything won’t you?”

“Darlin, if it makes you happy, and you keep taking me with you, I’ll do almost anything for you!”

Kate melted, put down her glass of malt, looked Karl in the eye and told him,” the best way to learn to polka is to get that horizontal dance done right first.”

The glasses of malt lingered for the next couple of hours as Kate and Karl practiced their moves.

Gene Simmons cracks his head open and then gets married

For the longest time on this blog, I had one of Gene's Simmon's quotes about marriage on my blog - something about marriage leading to divorce. It was cynical.
Since then the Demon has surprised us. He finally married Shannon Tweed after a lot of crack yer head open stuff.

Now if more people were as committed - in spite of all the craziness that Shannon put up with, I do believe there would be fewer break ups in this world. What Gene Simmons did took guts. What they both did took guts, hard work, gut wrenching hard work.
Go ahead and watch the Marriage Boot Camp episode to see what I'm talking about. Good on them both.

While the XSU wasn't an adulterer on the scale that we all believe Gene to be, he is a head case, with his own little fantasies and issues to do with his father. I've always said, going way back to my first few blogs, a son who doesn't have a healthy loving relationship with his father is quite bluntly, fucked! They gotta understand it and get through it.

Good on you Gene. Good on you. That was an impressive and very tough thing you did. And that Shannon. Most women would not have put up with what she put up with. But she did. And her family is together, she has the commitment she needed, and let's hope they have a long happy loving trust-filled life together.

The rest of us should be so lucky. Me? I've now got a man in my life who had that warm loving relationship and I am just sorry I never knew the man. The Beau and his cousins tell great stories about his dad.

Therapy works. It's the answer to a lot of what ails people. Why do they have to be so damn stubborn and not feel the pain to get to the gain? Who knows. But we move on and are lucky enough to have a second chance. Which we accept and even grab with gusto.

So here's my toast to Gene and Shannon. I just LOVE that show!

Wordless Wednesday

13 on Thursday

1. yes, I have been pre occupied.

2. I really need to not be so pre occupied, but it's rather nice to have someone waiting for me and wanting to spend time with me

3. We're going to a Ukrainian function together. That ought to be interesting. I'll report back.

4. Rebel Junior is as rebelly as ever. I picked up 6 garbage bags of her clothes and threw them into the garage.

5.Getting to work at 8 AM is problematic. Having every second Friday off is not. Short term pain long term gain. I am still not a morning person.

6. Rebel and the loser BF were evicted from their apartment. She claimed all sorts of things. WHY they didn't see it coming I don't know. Long story. Problems with the landlord, and yet, they were tossed. They are living with XSU. heh heh heh

7.I lost my cell phone. CANNOT find it anywhere. One minute it was on the hutch in the kitchen, then it wasn't. meh. I don't miss it much. It was a hand me down blackberry. i can't go back to a non keyboard phone t9 for text.. doesn't cut it.

8. I can't wait to wear my new Fleuvog shoes. OH my they cost me nearly half a mortgage payment. Worth EVERY penny.

9. Wow! Even Gene Simmons got married.

10. It's turkey time this weekend. I'm having 11 people for dinner. I LOVE it. XSU is NOT one of the invited guests.

11. I really have to stop playing mah jong dimensions on FB. I'll never ever get all that time back.

12. My cousin told me about this really cool stuff that looks like granite for counter tops and it's less than $100! A DYI project even I can handle. Pour it on. Epoxy. Done. I'm gonna do it. Instead of painting my bedroom. Which is also on the list.

13. I think I'll have a perogy party open house at the end of November. I plan to make perogies every Saturday morning from now til then. You're all invited. All three of you who might read the blog once in awhile.